Changing Course (Fourteen)

If you have been following my blog, you know how I met my husband back in October of 2010, and was introduced to traveling the country by means of an RV. You also know that my blogs are informational for RV’ers, funny, sarcastic, and all lead to how I ended up living in one full time. Have any of you wondered what kind of person would willingly downsize to a slightly larger than 400 SQFT living space? I am reminded by the look on some people’s faces, once they understand that we no longer own a brick & mortar home by choice, that they may believe we have a few screws loose, or missing some completely! They would be correct, but not in the way you think. So I decided to venture down that highway, loose screws and all…(pun totally intended!) I am going to share a few personal things about our past lives in order to give you the whole picture, so prepare yourselves for a little ride down the information highway to understand how & why it was so easy to part with so much stuff.

Roger, as you may have already read, is US Air Force Retired after 22 years of honorable service to our country. I can not tell you about everything he did, but it involved security forces, 1 tour in Vietnam during the war, one in Korea, and then retraining into Air Traffic Control, where he retired after 16 more years. His stuff was moved around from state to state, and country to country. He was a single parent following a divorce, was a Manager in shipping/receiving for many years, worked in construction, built a home for him and his daughter, put her through college, and has been a landscaper for an awesome local company for 13 years. His house was paid for, and he bought his first Class C RV for leisurely travel, which was the point in his life that we met in the Fall of 2010. His dream was to one day retire into the bliss of the highway, traveling in search of needy farmers or ranchers out West, and provide help for their survival in exchange for food and a place to park Tin Lizzy. He never gave up his home to follow that dream, and he didn’t have a soul mate to travel with, so he stayed put, surrounded by family and friends, and enjoyed life to the fullest. His life story was a good one thus far.

I was a very young Housewife and Mother, who out of necessity after a divorce, became a successful career woman. I started out selling cosmetics for luxury brands, which resulted in climbing the ladder to an Account Coordinator, Area Manager, Regional Manager, and finally, Account Executive for several well-known Luxury Jewelry Brands. I was living the dream! I bought several houses, (rented a few), built a retirement home, drove a great car, and had a job I can truly say I loved traveling all over the country and abroad. In December of 2007, I received the dreaded call that no one ever wants to receive, especially before the holidays. I learned that my company was drastically downsizing in the US market, and January 31st, 2008, would be my last day of employment. I had only been living in my newly-built home for about 1 year and the rug was pulled out from under me. I went from a six figure income to collecting unemployment. My rental properties would soon fall under my responsibility as well, once my tenants also lost their jobs, and vacated. Three homes, one car, no job, equals certain financial demise, unless a miracle would happen! There would be no miracle during the biggest housing bust and recession we have ever experienced in my lifetime. I sold one house for what I owed, I sold one house short of what I owed, and over a two year span of determination for survival, bankrupted my retirement home, and moved into an apartment. And that’s my tragic little story, without getting into every detail, for fear my readers would simply die if they knew the truth about banks and lending institutions during the recession, and how they betrayed responsible, tax-paying, law-abiding citizens like me! I moved into an apartment with all my stuff, after getting a job paying less than half of what I used to earn, but I learned a lot about myself, who I was, what I was capable of, and what I could live without. All of my material possessions were just simply stuff! They did not define who I was, or determine where I was going. They just made it more difficult to get from one place to another, because I had to move all that stuff!

So once Roger and I were at the point of moving in together, I had to move my pile of stuff, yet again! (I can hear George Carlin laughing at me now!) So we merged two entire households into one. We got rid of a lot of stuff, but we had a beautiful place on over 2 acres, with a lot of yard work; mowing, edging, trimming, weeding, mulching, planting, etc. We had 1700 SQFT inside to take care of , two cars, one truck, and the RV to insure and register. We both worked and traveled during the summer, and we became snow birds every winter, and repeat. We had a very normal life with no financial crisis, and more fun than anyone I knew, as we travelled the country together. Those were the best days of our lives!

But we got greedy. We wanted more. More is better! More is GOOD! And that is the way of the world, is it not? So after 3 years of spending our winters in Key West, we decided to sell, donate, and give away, almost everything we had. We would sell our Class C and upsize to a 40 foot Class A to haul our asses and everything we still owned, anywhere and everywhere we wanted to be! The stuff we had accumulated our entire lives was reduced to a much smaller pile, and the house was history as of May 31st, 2017! We felt exhilarated! Our children would never have to go thru a lifetime of stuff when we make our final departure from this earth. A burden that so many never think of, was lifted. We felt relief and excitement for new travels to come, more winters away from snow, more summers up North. We were living the dream that so many can only dream!

But as I wrote very early on in my blogs, this was not my dream. I tried to change course, as this was someone else’s course, not really my own. I am learning that you cannot live someone else’s course, or happiness may never truly be yours. And so after 2 years of living full time in our RV, well over 1500 days since the beginning of our adventures, I have been able to tell my DH, that this does not feel right for me. I wanted it to, with all my heart, but I miss a traditional house, with a traditional yard. And that is where we are today. A very confusing time for both of us, as we have many decisions to make about where we buy or build our retirement home. But that is for another blog. What I want to leave you with, for now, is this; Don’t let someone else’s dreams interfere with your own course, and be very honest about it. I could have kept quiet about this, and tried to be happy for 3 or more years of full timing, but tomorrow isn’t promised, and 3 years may be too late. So be honest with yourself and those you love dearly, before you fall under the spell of FT life traveling the country in your tiny house on wheels. Others make it sound so exciting, like a fantasy come true. But it might just be their fantasy, and not yours. Most of all the people we have met from long ago that were FT, are no longer FT. They maintain a small brick & mortar home and travel part time. So if you have been enticed by the lifestyle and dreaming of it, just be sure to have a plan B and financially be prepared for that, if and when the time comes. I personally don’t believe you can live in paradise every single day, or paradise becomes just like every other day. Keep your travels special, dreamy, and limited, or they will simply become a “checked off” state on a big map or bucket list. I, for one, do not want to live by a bucket list, I want to live my best life! I just need to try and determine exactly what and where that is. For now, we are surrounded by family and friends in our hometown, and we will work it out.

As for the those loose or missing screws? We may have tightened up a few here and there, but I do believe, there are still a few missing! We literally find screws on the floor now and then after miles of rough roads…