begins the anticipation of traditions, festivities and fun! This year is especially anticipated because I live back home surrounded by my family. I am honestly like a child this year yearning to see everything and anything that resembles Thanksgiving or Christmas, and savoring every morsel I can get!

As you all know, this has been a year of change for me, starting with my husband’s unexpected passing in January. I made the spontaneous decision to move back to Ohio in the summer, once I realized that living in Florida year-round alone wasn’t going to work for me. It was a lot of work to stage my home, sell it, pack it up and arrange for moving up north. I wasn’t even sure if I would find the right place at the right price at the time I did it. You also know that I had family I could count on once I arrived safely up north, so I took the chance and did it!

They helped me to find my wonderful condo; I bought it and moved into it before fall. The work it took to accomplish all of this is in my rearview mirror and I’m not looking back. I just know I am stronger than I ever gave myself credit for. There should be some kind of reward for this sort of thing, right? I’m here to speak of such rewards, and it’s not something that will sit on a shelf and collect dust.

The first reward came in the form of self gratification after self preservation. It is the unbelievable feeling of accomplishment that I saved myself from the misery of living alone in a house that would have eventually sucked up my resources (and my energy) with constant maintenance in a hot weather climate. That accomplishment is realized every single time I walk into my home now and drive thru my beautiful small-town community. It fills my heart to know that I made this all happen and I did it on my own. It has empowered me. I have felt comfortable here since day one because I am home.

The second reward was reuniting with friends and family in a way that I can only describe as euphoric. Each time I go to lunch or dinner (or anywhere) with a sister, an old friend, a cousin, etc., I feel explicit joy. I can only say this about that; We have all witnessed a family member’s serious illness, complications and death in some fashion. It’s the worst part of life when we are faced with death and its aftermath, but that is part of life. We all must bare it in some way and move on- or I should say- live on. Nobody has to move anywhere, but it’s traumatic, painful and depressing, and affects us all in different ways. Greif and tragedy is unique to each one of us.

As our family shrinks over the years, it also grows. It grows with children or grandchildren, or sometimes- just through the heart with the memories we hold near and dear. For me, the holidays that are steeped in traditions is like the tree of life in our family and has renewed my vow to live on. Moving back to where my roots are has given me the greatest gift of life and strength to get over the ugliness of the past.

The third reward I shall speak of comes from viewing this holiday season with child-like eyes. I desire to live each and every moment with great anticipation. I don’t want to miss anything by jumping right to the crescendo of any event. I want to savor each and every gathering that leads to that high point. Looking at my calendar, I see each and every one of these smaller, intimate events as the soul of Christmas. Some are new activities and some are traditional, but as my calendar grows full; so does my heart!

Decorating my new place is my next reward. My nephew on his first visit to my condo asked me where I was going to put my Christmas tree. I have a beautiful open sunroom that he thought would make the perfect spot for a big tree! I also have a beautiful large window in my living room that I suggested as an alternate spot. He then says, “Well Aunt Lorraine, you can always have two trees!” So, of course I solved that issue by purchasing a second little tree. Thank you for your input, my dear nephew. Thanks to my little sister’s annual gifts of Wendall August ornaments thru the years, I have dedicated that smaller tree for just those special ornaments. It is also flocked with snow because it is appropriate now that I live in a 4 season state. In Florida, you would never see a snow-covered tree! Nope…

Thanksgiving is this week and I will be seeing most of my family at both of my sister’s homes. We have planned the menus and the festivities will begin soon, but the anticipation of it all is what drives me to write. I want to watch it all unfold in slow motion. That is the greatest reward of all is to savor these moments that live on long after our parents have departed this earth. My siblings are the best gift my parents ever gave to me. We take the good and the bad, and roll it all together to make the glue that has held our family together.

If you are missing some of your family members this holiday (and I know many of you are), try to open your hearts and let them speak through the love of memories and traditions. My family is a great example of how love can grow after tragedy. Terrible diseases can ravage the body or the minds of our loved ones and steel them from us physically, but they can never take them from our hearts.

My sisters just took me to one of their favorite little places over the weekend (off the beaten path, I might add). We spent the night there and had an exceptionally fun time together. We made it a point to toast to our wonderful parents, who must have been smiling that their three girls were all together again laughing like children. We laughed so hard that night, enjoyed a few spirited cocktails (because no one was driving), a wonderful dinner and good music from a favorite trio of musicians that have become good friends.

This is what life can offer for anyone that seeks joy after tragedy. It is the greatest gift of all, my dear readers and friends!!!

My Mother and Grandmother both loved Thanksgiving because of the memories they held dear of family gatherings, long after many loved ones departed. Their traditions live on in my family and I am now back to behold the sights and sounds of the holidays. You all know how I speak fondly of my childhood, and now- because I was brave enough to take on a big move and huge changes in my life- I will experience it again with my siblings. I can honestly say that I am like a child again, as I anticipate this holiday season.

What better way to experience Christmas, than through the eyes of a child? If that was a Christmas wish, than it is coming true for me! It’s not as hard as you think to make that wish come true. You just have to believe in the magic of tradition and family, but it helps to be home together with each other.

I cannot fail to mention that there are some friends in Florida that I will truly miss seeing this holiday. Our last Thanksgiving together with some of these folks was the last one I prepared in my Florida home, and just before my husband’s health rapidly declined. It would be the the last time that he enjoyed a holiday. By Christmas, he was dying rapidly of small cell neuroendocrine carcinoma and diagnosed as terminal. By New Years, he was in the hospital and the cancer had spread almost everywhere in his body. It wasn’t long after that and Hospice would guide me thru his last days of life. 50 days from diagnosis to death.

What would you do if you knew you only had 50 days to live? It’s a blink of an eye for the patient. It’s a lifetime to the family. I mention this only to remind us all how precious life is. Others don’t get a warning, they are simply gone in an instant.

I have several friends and family members that are cancer survivors. Ask any one of them how precious life is. My big sister is one of them. Her daughter is one of them. The list goes on and on, but each and every one of us could be one of them.

Do not wait till you get sick before you wished you had lived more life. This is the very reason I live with a renewed excitement for every day and view each holiday as a gift.

So please join me this year and celebrate life during the season of lights and joy! Be thankful for another chance to act like a kid again. Decorate the house, make the cookies, roast the turkey, drink the spirits, eat the desserts and don’t think about the calories! If we’re lucky enough to see snow (YES, snow can be fun for all the kill joys out there!) build that snowman, make that snow angel, take your grandchildren sledding and I’ll make the hot chocolate with lots of marshmallows! Take a drive to see the Christmas lights, enjoy “Cookie day” (I sure plan to!), make a yule log (we might attempt one this year!), and have an eggnog or two. Don’t forget to spike it a bit with your favorite flavor of booze. Watch your favorite movies or join me for a Hallmark marathon while it snows! Live a little and laugh a lot!!

DO NOT worry about spending money you don’t have because that is NOT what the holidays are about. Build the memories, create the traditions, celebrate your family and friends because that is the GIFT of the season!

The gift of life and second chances- that is my reward!

Below are just a few of my special gifts. An early present from little sis- a holiday season purse.

Just one of several holiday leggings. (I have jammies too!)

My Wendall August tree (couldn’t wait till my fall decorations came down. It is new and, of course- you have to try it out to make sure the lights work….right???

Just a few samples of my holiday spirited cocktails and winter clothing.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!!!!