THE FINALE

SCENE THIRTY

Whenever my Grandmother heard people say “Why me?” she used to always come back with the response “Why not me?” When I questioned her about it, she said “Why am I so special that nothing bad can happen to me? We all have our cross to bear.”

I never forgot those words throughout my entire life. My Grandmother was a brilliant woman full of intuition and style. (My Mother nicknamed her “Granny Good Witch,” and I pictured her as Glinda, the Good Witch from The Wizard of Oz.) She never completed school because she had to take care of family, and home responsibilities came first, but she was educated well beyond her time. If she had received a formal education, I believe she could have been another RBG (Ruth Bader Ginsburg) in today’s world. She definitely would have been a precedent-setting woman that others would have looked up to.

I share this with you for two reasons. First; every child needs an adult figure to look up to, admire, and respect (like a grandparent.) Second; every child needs to experience traditions to realize how they add meaning to your life while growing up. Without these two important ingredient’s in your childhood, disasters will be harder to handle when they come along. It’s not a matter of if, it’s a matter of when bad things will happen to us. I believe the very reason I am still here today enjoying what life has to offer is because of how my Grandma and my Parents raised me.

When everything seemed to fail me, or I felt victimized and helpless, I remembered those words my Grandma spoke “Why not me?” None of us are getting out of here alive, so you have to face facts. Everyone will suffer at some point in time from loss or devastation. When these hard times come along, it is tradition that will give you moments of happiness and strength. At least it did for me.

Let me share a short story about one Christmas long ago during the period of time that I was losing everything in the recession.

My Sisters made sure I would have gas money to get home, so I planned on being at Jolie’s house that Christmas Eve and Christmas day. I knew I would have my family around me, great meals, awesome cookies, festive cocktails, and plenty of Holiday cheer with our children. But what I didn’t have, was the ability to contribute monetarily and to buy gifts, as we had always done in the past. It would be difficult to put on a happy face when I was in the middle of the worst life crisis anyone could face and try to feel festive. It was a severe blow to my ego not to be able to shower everyone with luxury gifts of jewelry, watches, Montblanc writing instruments, or Gucci accessories, like I had been able to do in years past.

So I made a promise to myself to enjoy the Holiday season in a way that I had not been able to during my career. I had the gift of time. I would listen to Christmas music, and I could muster up enough change to bake some traditional cookies. I would not be a Grinch for Christmas because I would think happily of my childhood days, my Parents, and my Grandma (my Grandpa was deceased before I was born, in case I forgot to tell you.) There was such deep traditions instilled in me over the years, but still, how could I enjoy the most festive time of the year with no money? Well, to people who think you can’t enjoy the Holiday without lots of presents, I say, “oh yes, you can!” What I had was plenty of time to actually enjoy all the traditions without the stress or the headache of working. It was truly my best gift ever!

Giving is the best part of the gathering together on Christmas Eve, so I came up with a plan. I just had to talk my sisters into it in order for it to work. If I couldn’t spend money purchasing things, than I would just have to make things. After all, I did’t suffer from lack of creativity, so I would find a way to make homemade gifts for everyone, if they agreed to no store bought gifts in return. We all agreed it would be fun and we got our creative juices flowing. It became one of the most memorable Christmases ever! An old fashioned Family Christmas. It doesn’t get any better than that! (The only thing missing was Cousin Eddie!!)

We crocheted, we knitted, we glued, and we painted. There was scarves, and hats, headbands, and picture frames! Everyone got something special, and all the wrapping paper, tags, ribbons, and bows I had saved in my closet from years past, were finally used up! We laughed till we cried, and we ate and we drank, and we were most definitely merry! It was the best we could have with fine table linens, china, and crystal. The only thing missing was the ones we held most dear that were no longer here with us. It was all three of them that shone deep in our hearts that wonderful year.

My Grandmother’s traditions lived on in each of us. When she had no money to buy us fine gifts, she crocheted little stockings and filled them with dollar bills! (We all still have those stockings to hang on our trees.) She would spend her last buck to make us cookies and her wonderful Italian wedding soup. Her love still lives on in our hearts and souls. She passed it on to my Mother, who continued with her famous wedding soup, decorating the house, baking cookies with us, and stockings stuffed with whatever she could afford (God knows, we loved our stocking stuffers, and we all continue that tradition today!) I remember one of the best stocking stuffers we ever had when Jayla and I were very young. It was the famous mouse “Topo Gigio” (debuted on the Ed Sullivan show in the 60’s) and the head and ears were sticking out of our stockings. That was really all I needed that Christmas.

My father was famous for taking Jayla and me to get the biggest tree that he could possibly fit into the house, and filled the air with the aroma of fresh pine. To this day, I burn pine scented candles every Christmas since I put up an artificial tree. My Mother used to warn him every year before we left the house NOT to get another monstrosity of a tree! And of course, that’s exactly what we did almost every time! Dad was also the homemade cavatelli maker in the house which was served up with Mom’s homemade sauce on Christmas Eve many times! (He passed that tradition on to his Grandchildren before he died.) And don’t forget about the music that filled our home with joy no matter how few gifts were under our tree. My Mother would play the piano and sing, I would play guitar, Jayla would play clarinet, and years later, Jolie would play flute, and Jozeffy loved to sing. My Mother continued the tradition to play piano with her Grandchildren singing along for many years.

I’m not sure I could have gotten thru all the extreme difficulties in my life without the admiration, love, and respect I had for all three of these wonderful mentors who raised me. Those family traditions lifted my heart during the worst of times. They instilled family values in all of us that would keep each other going during the most difficult of our days.

My Grandmother was also extremely creative and must have passed that gene on to me. She used to do the flower arrangements for a green house called J&J Gardens when we were young. She also loved planting flowers and having her hands in the dirt (she passed that gene on to Jayla, as she also worked at the greenhouse when she was young!) All three of us girls are also great in the kitchen because of Mom and Grandma! (But no one has mastered my Mother’s apple pie like I have, and that is why I’ll never be skinny again!)

My parents were so proud of all of us no matter what we did, no matter how big or small. As they grew older, they lived vicariously through all of us, as their health and financial strains never improved. When Jayla and I were traveling all over the country for our jobs, they loved to hear our stories and see our pictures. Jolie went back to College and graduated with honors after raising her children. Jozef could sing pretty well and very active in his church. We all gave our Mom and Dad many joys in their later years and helped them out financially to give them a better quality of life during their golden years. (Mom and I never could figure out who the hell came up with “the golden years” because they certainly were not golden for her!) Before my Mother passed away, she did get to go to the Outer Banks to enjoy the ocean, and also to Florida to visit with her Brother. It made her so happy! My Dad was happier to stay at home after a bout with cancer and radiation, but gave Mom the freedom to have these last memories before she died. Oh how I miss these two wonderful human beings! The deepest love I’ve ever known is buried with them…

I often look at my pictures of my artwork and think to myself how my Mom and Grandma would have loved it! The one I think both of them would have enjoyed the most, is one of the latest I created by request for my Sister-in-Law; a Snowman. I created a second one for my Sister Jayla, and Jolie got a print of it for her Daughter. They all love Snowmen and I loved creating them. I think when I put the smiles on these snowmen artworks, I actually smiled because I thought of my Mom and my Grandma.

I just know they would have loved these artworks and it would have made them smile too. (God, how I miss their smiles and their embrace!) That is one of the very reasons I create my shell artworks. The feeling it gives to me and the joy it brings to others.

It is JOY that makes a life worth living. Remember; it is the secret of life. Desire it enough and you will find the JOY in everything…

(left) My Son with the two circled stockings on our tree from my Grandmother and I still have them! (right) My Mom playing piano with my Bother Jozef and two Grandchildren singing Christmas songs.

THE END

* Some key notes of interest:

Jayla is retired and still works at my favorite Boutique to stay active. She has shown us great strength as a cancer survivor, as well as her oldest child. She has 3 children and 5 grandchildren. Two have graduated college, and her youngest is currently a JROTC in High School with hopes of joining the Air Force Reserves upon graduation or majoring in college.

Jolie had to undergo hip replacement at a young age due to her birth defect (twice.) She currently works for Hospice and provides services to families with patients near end-of-life. She has 2 children that have graduated from college and 2 grandchildren that she is very active with. We are excited for her youngest child’s wedding coming in 2022.

Jozef is living dependently but on his own and still loves music, reading, and church activities. He actively gives guidance to others with Bipolar. I believe he can recite chapter and verses from the Bible better than anyone I know and I am very proud of him.

My Father died 10 years after my Mother from complications with dementia. The saddest thing we ever had to do was move him out of our childhood home into a care facility. I said goodbye to him before I left for the winter with the gut feeling that I might never get one of his hugs again. He died with my sisters at his side. The saddest flight home of my life was from Key West to bury my Daddy that winter.

As for me, I am retired, and after 10 years of RV life (7 yrs part time and 3 yrs full time) I now live with my Air Force retired husband in our little cottage home in Florida. I have 1 child and 2 grandchildren. Roger has 2 children and 3 grandchildren.

For privacy, I have changed the names of family members and I have never revealed the names of many other family and friends.

My Son is doing ok as a recovered addict, but faces constant struggles and roadblocks. He attended college and took additional college courses from home. He was very successful in the Hardware industry and in retail management. I am proud of him for facing his addiction and constantly dealing with the aftermath of its destruction. His father is the only one of my ex husbands that is still living and my Son now resides with him after going thru a divorce. It is very unfortunate that we are no longer very close and I have no real relationship with my 2 grandchildren. I call it the “casualties of war” with addiction.

It took most of my adult life to finally accept my relationship with my Son for what it is. I have learned that a Mother can only accept so many heartbreaks and disappointments before she is broken. I had to put the oxygen mask on me first or I would die trying to save everyone else. If someone constantly steals the joy from your life, it will become completely empty and you will die inside.

I am still active with my shell art and, of course, still love to write. I am also on the Board of Moderators with a Private Group of 10,000 people and enjoy my volunteer duties of writing and editing for the group.

If you have enjoyed reading my book, please let me know. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for following my stories with my Blog at Six Wheels Down, and also this true story.

The Painter of Shells

And I Have a Story to Tell

Me and my Sisters the last day I spent with my Dad. We put up a Fall decorated tree so he could enjoy the lights, just like we all did as children with him.

(top two left) My Dad with his upright base (top right) My Grandma wearing the gown I made for her (bottom left) My Mother’s engagement picture (bottom right) My Mom and Dad

WRAP IT UP

SCENE TWENTY NINE

I have been through three rough divorces. Once was bad enough, but a trifecta? I was forced to walk away from three houses that I lovingly made into homes. I lost a lifetime of assets in the Great Recession. I have suffered the loss of loved ones far too soon. I have witnessed first hand how alcohol and drug addiction ruins lives. I watched how mental illness nearly destroyed a man’s life.

These people I’ve seen and helped with addiction or mental illness are not just “somebody” I know. These people were previous husband’s, my Child, and my Brother. We all keep silent when it’s happening to one of our own. We are afraid of the stigma that all too often accompanies the words “Alcoholic” or “Addict” or “Bipolar Disorder”, yet you can be a smoker for twenty years and no one thinks anything about it. Cigarettes were even once promoted in magazines and TV commercials like a tasty pack of gum! It was the “acceptable” addiction. It is OK that a Doctor got you started on prescription pain killers because you had an “acceptable reason” for those pills to start your addiction with. But God forbid you mention the word “heroin.” Everyone in the room thinks of the junkie who never had a good home and lives under bridges! In reality, they are very normal people; professionals, students, family, and friends. Many come from wealthy or privileged families. But let’s never talk about it because people might whisper and wonder, that maybe YOU might not have been a very good parent, or a good wife, or from a good family. There is no one to blame (we never meet the drug dealers) and mistakes are made by everyone. If you think you are perfect, you probably shouldn’t be reading my book.

I only brought this up in hopes that people will try to understand that bad things happen to a lot of good people. It helps us to understand things when we talk about it and discuss it, as these issues are very common and happening to so many people these days. Seeking mental health help or therapy should be no different than going to your family physician for preventative health care. So drop the stigmas and the whispers. OK- I said my peace. I am an open book, and after all, this is my book. I have held back on the sarcasm, but all my followers know my tagline; sarcasm served up with a side of humor. So get ready, cause here it comes…the chapter an Editor would want me to eliminate!

When I lost my assets in the recession, I was faced with questions, suggestions, and advice daily. Suddenly everyone was an expert on my finances. Why didn’t you do this? Why didn’t you do that? Why couldn’t you qualify for assistance? Why did you rent your house out? Why didn’t you rent your house out? Why did you dig into your IRA? Hide your money under the mattress! It went on and on and on. No one knows what it’s like unless you live it in real time. I didn’t have someone like me that gives hind site 20/20 for free before all the crap happens.

If I had known that two years worth of my efforts was just a waste of time and all my money- I would have had the time of my life and never looked for a job! If I knew I would end up in a bankruptcy- I wouldn’t have stressed or worried so much about paying my bills. I would have thrown in the towel and called a lawyer from the get-go to plan my escape from all responsibility. I also thought my life would be financially doomed once I filed for that bankruptcy- but it wasn’t. Seven years later, my credit score was right back where it was before dooms day hit me. I just wasn’t sure if I’d survive those seven years the day I walked out of that courtroom!

Let’s go back further than the recession. I worked in the world of Executives, President’s and Worldwide Presidents with my Companies, and 90% of my world was run by Males. I was a Female in a ”Man’s World” making far less money than every Good Old Boy! People asked me why I changed jobs when I was with Gucci and Montblanc back in the day (because jumping around doesn’t bode well on your resume.) Well, I was not at liberty to discuss that each new position came with a $10,000 – $20,000 salary increase and better benefits. It wasn’t until I worked with Ebel and Movado Group that my income was in the range where men had always been (and I was hired by a woman.) I also sometimes laugh about the sexual harassment charges you hear about on TV today. Back then, I could tell you about things that were far from actual abuse, but could certainly qualify in today’s world as sexual harassment in the work place. I once had someone say to me “Wow, I thought Gucci only hired good-looking women with nice T&A, but you have a brain too!” I smiled and said, “Well I guess they got the total package when they hired me!” Which was well received and ended the conversation. (You just have to know how to play their game.) You had to possess thick skin when I started in the watch business, but I also learned to speak up and take charge. The girl that was uncomfortable with firing an employee when I was younger grew a set of cojones! If someone were to ask me up to their room to do business? I would have never agreed! NO MATTER WHO OR WHY! We always did business in public places like restaurants or hotel lobbies or board rooms. Any woman that says “I had no choice” is just as much at fault for trusting that person behind closed doors when things go wrong unless you had a gun to your head. If you felt your job was threatened? Then get fired and bring your case to court. You must set boundaries and that is all there is to that.

My Sister Jayla and I both worked back in a time of Male dominance in the workplace (I’m sure she could write her own book!) I’m proud to say, we were definitely well respected in our fields and precedent-setters, and our parents were proud of us. And don’t even get me started with Jolie. She is the Sister they created T shirts about; giving warnings like- Jayla made the rules. Lorraine was the reason she made them. Jolie will say “the rules don’t apply to me!” (Laughing! Because it’s true!)

The bottom line is, and always will be; No one knows what you are dealing with except YOU! For as much as life has thrown at me, just when I think I’ve seen and heard it all? You guessed it. There’s always more where that came from! My Grandma used to always say “God doesn’t give us more than we can handle.” I disagree. (Perhaps she would too if she was still alive and seeing our world today.) “What doesn’t kill us, makes us stronger.” (They came up with this one just in case you’re not religious!) We are not passing a test here. I believe “free will” is now steroids gone wild and has gotten pretty ugly of late.

I honestly believe that life is just hard. It was not ever intended to be easy. It wasn’t meant to be fair. It starts with birth and ends when you die, with a whole lot of taxes in between! If you’re a woman; it starts with childbirth and ends when you die, with a whole lot of heart ache in between to go along with those taxes! You might have a leg-up if you never gave birth, but I’m sure the bad shit will find you eventually. It could be your niece or nephew, or best friend, or spouse, or parents, but no one gets a free pass.

I say this to be funny, but you know it’s all true. Some people laughed at me when I talked about the white line syndrome as passenger in our Class A motorhome. Do you know why I was a nervous wreck on narrow winding roads? Because I only had one nerve left from being scared of things that actually did happen in my life! Roger says I worry too much. That’s because I do the worrying for both of us. Most men don’t worry about anything, and then when the shit does go wrong, you’re still going to be dealing with it. Just saying! If your house on six wheels breaks down somewhere? Remember- it is your house too. It’s not like your husband is the only one that’s going to deal with being homeless when it’s in the shop…

It’s a fact that some of us get arthritis and some of us get cancer. Some of us get healthy bones and some of us get mental illness. So you might see an older person out jogging everyday and feel jealous because you can barely walk on your old sore feet. But that person with the great bones could be batshit crazy! People could be jealous of someone that has traveled their entire life and say “Oh what beautiful memories you must have!” Then one day, that traveling person loses all their memories when they are stricken with Alzheimer’s disease. Suddenly, everyone’s OK with their perfectly boring and uneventful lives because it’s the better alternative. The people that have more money than God are envied by so many who don’t have a pot to piss in. But no one knows the terrible loneliness that person felt when they died alone. No money gave them comfort in those final days and they couldn’t take their money with them. (Well, I did hear someone tried and asked that he be buried with all his cash in the casket. I doubt that his cash actually made it in there. Don’t you?)

Someone that stutters is jealous of the well spoken professional. But I can come up with many examples that prove the person that stutters can have more common sense, more talent, and is a much better leader than the fast-talking idiot. And isn’t it ironic that grown adults make fun of people that stutter until they give birth to a child that stutters? Or a parent has a stroke and can barely utter a word, and suddenly, you’re an advocate for all those that stutter or have speech impediments. I could go on, but I’ll leave it right there.

I’m being sarcastic for a reason. Why does it take bad things to happen to us before we learn the lesson of compassion? You go along in life every day in your own world sometimes without thinking it could happen to you, until it does. Don’t walk around with blinders on. Everyone is dealing with something that they are afraid of or can’t talk about, so try to be a little more kind. I was, and still could be, that person. You, my Reader, could be that person. I didn’t speak of the addiction my ex, Robby, had for years and endured the weight of that burden for both of us. I was too afraid he would lose his license to practice law and would never be a lawyer again. (I didn’t want to bear responsibility for that!) I was also afraid to speak of addiction out loud for years because I thought my Son might think less of me. Imagine that- the Addict may think less of me. I didn’t give him the drug. So why would it be my fault that an adult made a mistake just because I gave him life? I used to keep silent about the fact that my Brother was Bipolar, but now I speak up and try to educate people on the illness.

Yes. I was that person that was dealing with something you knew nothing about. We ALL ARE! Be KIND! Enjoy every moment of your life that is not filled with grief anger or fear, because we never know when we will run out of moments…

CHAPTER EIGHT

WRAP IT UP

SCENE TWENTY EIGHT

Roger’s Daughter finally came to visit us mid April after we had all been fully vaccinated. It was wonderful to finally share our new home with a family member. We filled the house with laughter which was music to my ears. We got to know each other better than before because she spent the entire week with us. It was much more than just an afternoon picnic or a holiday dinner. She lived here for a week and we shared many stories and feelings about life.

She asked us both a very profound question about our RV decision to go full time; “Would you do it all over again?” She asked what percent would we each give to our own answer- 80/20, 70/30, 50/50, or way less? I had to think hard about the percentage, but the answer caught me off guard. The answer was Yes (believe it or not!) The percentage was 80% yes and 20% no. I believe Roger was pretty much the same.

The reason for my answer is complicated, yet simple. The experiences I had driving all over the country were great, yet not always. So let me wrap it up for you.

I would not be sitting here writing or sharing stories of my life if I had nothing great or nothing terrible to share with you. I lived through all of it and that’s the really great part of any adventure is to be able share it with someone that wants to hear a good story. I did things that not everyone would do and that’s what makes my life interesting. Dare to dream, and dare more to make dreams into reality, whether it’s your dream or your partner’s. To play life safe all the time is not really living at all.

There is no greater way to see the country than to drive across it with your clean bedroom right behind you. There’s no better way to end a long day than to enjoy a home-cooked meal and some cocktails by a bonfire instead of checking in or out of a hotel and waiting an hour to get into a crowded restaurant. I know vacation preferences are varied, but that is how we rolled. Not to mention how many wonderful people we have met along the way. We have many vacation destinations all over the country when we want to visit them.

The 80% explanation of “I would do it again:”

You never have to pack! Your house on six wheels is your constant readiness method of vacation transportation. You never have to make a list of “things to do” before leaving the house. Once you park it and hook up the essentials, you have all the comforts of home no matter where you are. You can take your car and explore the area for days or for weeks. The vacation that never ends! If you don’t like an area, you can disconnect everything and move on to a different area. You can explore places for your retirement list of possibilities for as long as you want to. You enjoy scenery and nature up close. I could go on and on, but literally, there are endless benefits to RV life.

The 20% regret:

The hind sight 20/20- I personally should have stayed part time versus full time and not sold our house until we were damn sure we wouldn’t want to return to it! We could have perhaps rented it out, but not gotten rid of absolutely everything! I am thankful that we have downsized (many things we never need again are already gone), but we would have kept Roger’s Historical Omega, perhaps my Malibu LTZ (with low mileage), and several other important pieces to our life puzzle.

The advantages of doing what we did still outweighs the downside. We purchased a home with a yard better suited for our age and don’t have to shovel snow. Moving couldn’t have been easier because we were already here with the RV. We had the fun of decorating it completely different with brand new furniture (which we really could have used some anyway!) We would have spent a ton of money to move all of our belongings to our retirement destination- not to mention all the work involved in doing so. Instead, we only had to unload the contents of our motorhome (no furniture except for an outdoor table & chairs.) So any big regret is not really regarding the material things. The regret of our decision lies with the choice of location away from what we both called home for over 25 years or if we will be happy indefinitely here in the south. That remains to be seen.

Honestly, since the time we purchased our home, we have been living under pandemic conditions. There has been plenty of isolation no matter where or who you lived around. Even family and friends have been keeping their distance from one another. We have not been here long enough under normal circumstances to realize the end result of our decision. I do know that we have enjoyed exploring what our area has to offer and I love being close to so many beach options to collect my seashells. (Living up North would have probably put an end to my shell artworks.) We just started taking 3 day trips to beach areas when the pandemic (Delta) re-surged eliminating options once again, as we like staying on a lot of military bases, and they are now for active duty travel only (HPCON Charlie.)

The bottom line for me is how much I have learned about life and about myself. Life isn’t perfect no matter where you live. Cheryl and I laugh about some of our travel experiences over coffee. For instance; no matter what town you visit, there is always a main drag with all the same stores and restaurants. (Really! If you close your eyes, you could be in any town in America when you open them up!) The other funny thing is, no matter how many places you have been to, there’s always someone that will one-up you. A canyon is a hole in the ground and a mountain is a mountain. Does it really matter how many holes or mountains you see?

For instance, when I was sixteen years old and went to Washington State with Sailor #1, I saw the most beautiful mountains I have ever seen! I saw the Cascade Mountains (Leavenworth Bavarian-styled Village), Mount Rainier, Mount Baker, Deception Pass, and giant Sequoia trees. In all the traveling I have ever done since my first sight of these majestic mountains, nothing has impressed me more. I’ve seen big beautiful mountains in Washington, Idaho, Montana, and Wyoming. What other mountain will ever impress me more?

I used to travel to Vegas annually for large trade shows during my Couture career days. One flight I will never forget; the pilot came over the intercom and announced that he was given clearance to fly lower over the Grand Canyon because it was a perfect clear weather day to do so and we were ahead of schedule. I saw the Grand Canyon up close and in detail in a way that can only be done from above. Nothing will ever top that! I could spend weeks touring it and taking photos, but the best view is in my memory of that flight on that very day! How many other holes in the ground do I need to see to try and top that? (Cheryl’s laughing!) Now if you talked to my Sister Jayla, she would tell you about her experience hiking down into the Grand Canyon. From her perspective, I’m sure there was absolutely nothing better than being up close and in touch with Nature. I personally would rather view it from above and away from the bears! (Laughing!) But it’s all in how you perceive it. Her view wasn’t better than mine and my view wasn’t better than hers. But I’m not going to hike down into the Grand Canyon to find out!

Seriously folks, no matter where, no matter what, each of our experiences make wonderful and adventurous stories and I’m just glad you have enjoyed mine. I’ve done some scary things and some ordinary things. I definitely have some regrets, as I am sure we all do as we age. But if I had not lived the RV way of life, I would never have gotten to live by the ocean like I did in Key West for several years. I’m too afraid of hurricanes to invest that much money in an ocean view home (and I doubt we could afford it anyway!) But RV life gave me some of the most wonderful opportunities a person can experience in a lifetime.

I also doubt that I would have spent these past eight years enjoying my artistic abilities with painting and seashells if it were not for my RV life. Once that door was opened up to me, I enjoyed bringing countless smiles to people all over the country who own a little piece of my work and “the beach!” I still have a room in my home designated for creating my custom works of art and it gives me much joy. I may never have one single piece of my work hanging in a gallery, but I have plenty hanging in people’s homes all over the US.

The thing about Art Galleries is; you have to charge more for your work in order for them to make a profit. You also have to provide numerous works to meet a quota. I don’t have to do either and people still purchase my art. It’s the same principle with writing this book. I was going to go the route of trying to publish it. However, I would have to do it the way an Editor wants me to, provide additional books (under contract), promote them, and try to shove it down everyone’s throat on social media. I’m just not the right candidate to fit their profile. So I’m providing it for free to the people that want to read it. I have no Editor so you might find a few errors here and there. But it is my way, my words, my story. It was never about money for me. I won’t even allow ads on my WordPress site at this time. Maybe some day, but not today.

I would also like to take this opportunity to promote small businesses in communities throughout the country. I have always been faithful to small businesses everywhere I have ever lived. Once I establish a good relationship with you, I’m your customer for life. Just ask my Sister Jayla. I live in Florida and still shop a Boutique in my hometown where I was born and raised (Jayla works there for some fun money.) Why would I pay an extra $5 shipping to do that? Because I am loyal to that business and I love her clothing! I feel good that during the pandemic- I was one of the customers that helped put food on that owner’s table. (The owner would do live videos and I would shop by phone in the convenience of my home.)

I have loyal clients that text or email me every now and then when they need a special gift for someone and ask me if I can create something for them or if I have a print to sell. I believe this kind of loyalty is the best kind of business there is! I wish there were more people that believed it too! It would be a much better world if we conducted business in a way of mutual respect, honesty and the desire to really help people. Don’t you think? “Like” the page of your favorite business or “Follow” them. It’s a nice start to show someone that works hard that you actually care.

Our Daughter said something else while she was here visiting us in the Spring. We were sharing some of our travel stories with her and she said “You guys know some of the coolest people!” We chuckled about it, but it’s true. We have met people from all walks of life- some ordinary, and some extraordinary. Because we have spent a lot of time on military bases (family campgrounds opened to active or retired.) we have associated with some very high-ranking military folks (I call them Bad Asses because they are!) We’ve camped with Colonels (full bird or bull, as they say in the military.) One of my clients and followers, Evelyn Webb USNNC, Capt (Ret), was a Navy Nurse that served during the war on a ship. One couple that we’ve been friends with since 2013 has a Son that is a Hurricane Hunter out of Keesler AFB. We are good friends with a local farrier (over forty years now) who used to break horses. (I call him a real Cowboy because he is definitely the real deal. You’ll know when you shake his hand!) Fred is Navy (Ret) from Copper Harbor and was the Captain of the Keweenaw Star operating sunset excursions on lake Superior with his wife Diane. My Sister from another Mother Cheryl, is a retired Army Major and an Estate Planner- one of the smartest people I have ever known! Her husband Dave flew a UH1 helicopter (nicknamed a Huey) in Vietnam with the First Calvary and still flies a plane today! Roger got to accompany him this past Spring, as he loves flying! Another good friend of ours is a Former Captain (Ret) of the US Coast Guard and took Roger out on his boat in Key West.

I believe we are two of the luckiest people on earth that we met and got to really know these people. Most have served our country in many ways keeping us safe and I salute you! I also enjoyed cocktails, stories, good laughs, (and even learned the two-step) with them. As I said in Key West; “We’re all just a bunch of retired old folks down here and rank means nothing among friends.” But the truth is; I admire and respect every single one of them!

ARTISTICALLY SPEAKING

SCENE TWENTY SEVEN

Who would have ever guessed that going into winter of 2019/2020 that, yet again, the world was about to drastically change. I suffered over the years thru life-changing divorces, I lost all my assets during the Great Recession, I endured the downsizing of a lifetime and lived in a motorhome, and I survived bilateral pneumonia with a collapsed lung. I even managed to kick my nicotine addiction while married to a smoker. Now I would focus on making my dream of owning a small cabin or cottage home for us into a reality. What else could possibly go wrong?

My Winter started off with some good news. My Sisters Jayla and Jolie called and told me that they wanted to come and visit me in Florida mid February 2020. I was so excited that I could hardly stand it! We rented a house near Daytona Beach and acted like Sisters do for 6 days. We ate, drank, laughed, argued, and of course, shopped till we dropped on several occasions! Before they left, I asked them if they felt safe flying back home on February 18th with all the talk and mystery surrounding Covid-19. It was just becoming a media trend at that point in time. They assured me that they would be fine and flew home.

Less than one month later on March 11^th, a Worldwide Pandemic was declared and life as we all knew it drastically changed. Everything started to shut down around the world and in the US. Florida was one of the last of the states to shut down all but essential businesses. We all know how this Pandemic affected the country and the people living in it. But for me, it was so much more.

Externally, I tried my best not to show fear, but took all the necessary precautions. Internally, it was an absolute freak show of emotions! Scared to death that I would end up sick and intubated (where my anxiety disorder peaked with my Mom not being able to breathe.) After my serious bout with pneumonia and as a previous smoker, I knew my lungs where compromised. (They have never been the same since.) I don’t think I EVER relaxed until my second shot of the Moderna vaccine in April 2021. (My Sister from another Mother found a military base that we could both get our shots sooner than later. We were both over-joyed!) It’s been over a year and a half now of Pandemic news and facing fears of serious infection…Ugh!!

We were still living in our RV and traveling nowhere when it started. Key West was closed to visitors, so yet again, we would not be spending time in Paradise. We were grateful to own our lot because so many people were scrambling trying to decide how to get home with all the travel limitations. Campgrounds and state parks were closed, gas stops were limited, hotels/motels and restaurants were closed, Canadian border crossing was an issue for our Northern friends that had deadlines to return. And all during this time I was wondering how would we ever get back to Ohio to see family, friends, and to look at homes. Well the answer to that question was; we wouldn’t!

I kept in touch with the Realtors in Ohio, but there was now an urgent need for homes around the $200,000 something range and prices were soaring. Houses that were listed for $189,900 before we left home were now listing for $250,000 – $275,000. I never saw anything like it before! They were ridiculously overpriced older homes, and yet, people were paying whatever they were listed for in order to get them because inventory was so low. We couldn’t head north with the RV because our seasonal campground was also closed during the pandemic. All hope of purchasing a small ranch or cabin dwindled like the flame to a melting candle. It was finally doused out and no more light shown on me. Reality was setting in and decisions needed to be made. It was clear that the housing market was only going to get worse for buyers. We could not afford a bidding war price on a home that wasn’t worth it. We were also getting nickeled and dimed with repairs on a motorhome that was becoming a noose around my neck. Every day that passed by I could feel it getting tighter. Roger’s knees were beginning to dislike the 5 steps up and down to get in or out just as mine did. Every time I made our bed I became more frustrated with the tight space, so I finally quit making it! If one of us couldn’t sleep good, neither one of us slept because there was nowhere else to go.

One thing I was absolutely sure of. I was fast approaching my third year of living FT in the motorhome and the agreement was over. I needed to get out of the RV. I needed some space so I could breathe or I felt like I would die.

We had three places we desired to live on our radar after downsizing and selling our home; Ohio, Kentucky, and Florida. We ruled out Kentucky because it wasn’t quite far enough south for warmer winters, and accept for the rolling hills, very much like Ohio where all of our friends and family were. (We didn’t know anyone in KY.) We made a pros and cons list for OH vs. FL and realized that for financial reasons, Florida was a very Senior-friendly state versus Ohio. We had made many friends over the years in Florida, so we do have a social life here and it’s important not to feel isolated. After many conversations, the decision was made to start looking at houses in Florida to see what we could get for our money.

Let the process begin again from square one. We would have to get pre-approved with a new mortgage company, but we had already found a wonderful Realtor that was waiting for further instructions. We were in the middle of a full blown pandemic and had no clue how any of this would work out, but we decided to move forward anyway. (Who knew you could buy a house basically on line? Or do a drive thru closing?)

Now here’s the very interesting piece of the puzzle. We got pre-approved for a mortgage WITHOUT the RV contingency in Florida. The amount was for less, but houses were selling at more reasonable prices in Florida compared to Ohio (at that time), so we were pretty much even in that regard. (If we had gotten this break up north, who knows where we’d be right now.) This approval opened the door for us to look at homes without the headache of selling the RV first. It would be a financial burden if we couldn’t sell it after purchasing a house, but we were willing to take on that risk, and we immediately put the RV back on the market. In the meantime, we were in full speed ahead mode looking at areas of interest before scheduling to see any houses. We also made the decision to free up more cash by selling the RV lot we owned in the Resort. It sold in no time at all to a wonderful couple that was also from Ohio. They were kind enough to rent the spot to us after it transferred for as long as we would need it! This kind gesture sure simplified the complicated process for us. This meant we could live in our own place comfortably while purchasing and furnishing a new house!

It wasn’t long before we found our cottage home in an established neighborhood with beautiful mature trees and surrounded by farms. It was super convenient and a smaller lot than we planned, but the house was perfect in every other way. Our Realtor made the process so easy that I’d do it all over again tomorrow- not that I want to! (Laughing) She not only recommended inspectors and other service providers; she actually scheduled most of the appointments for us! She also set up an appointment for us with the owners so that we could purchase some of their home furnishings (since we basically had none) which resulted in us getting many items for a fraction of the cost! All we had to do was purchase our bedroom set, do a little cleaning, and move right in!

Here in Florida, home insurance is one of your biggest costs. Our Realtor gave us a list of great leads and we were able to get a good company at a good rate. This is not only important for peace of mind, but in order to close the deal, we had to meet a dollar amount that would not drastically increase our monthly payment- all in the name of keeping the income to debt ratio acceptable to the lender while we still owned the RV. Phew! We did it!

June 1, 2017, we moved out of our ranch home in Ohio, and June 1, 2020, we moved into our home in Florida. We made it to the 3 year mark, and now we were starting a new life in our cottage home (with a pool as a bonus!) As I sit here writing my story, we are still in a pandemic, but I feel more of a sense of calm. The house we picked out together is perfect for us. Not too big, and not too small, but just right for retired folks like us!

The RV eventually sold after taking it to a local dealer and having it on consignment. It was the best thing we ever did during a pandemic to let them deal with everything. All we had to do was pick up the license plate when it was all said and done, and just breathe…

The painting above was inspired from a photo Roger took in our backyard of this beautiful butterfly. It seemed to pose for the picture, as Roger snapped away. It was done on a natural pine wood slice that I repurposed from the flea market. I loved it so much, I decided to keep it.

The Sandhill Cranes above were also inspired from a photo that I took of them in front of our neighbors RV. These paintings also hang in our home today and are some of the few that I’ve done without seashells.

ARTISTICALLY SPEAKING

SCENE TWENTY SIX

As enjoyable as it was to own a lot in an RV Resort in North Central Florida, I was dealing with some personal discontent living full time in the RV. When I handed Roger the keys to his future and the bus of his dreams, I had also given up the keys to some of my own personal desires. It was never my dream to actually live on the road, but after enjoying our travels so much, I thought I could do it happily for 3-5 years with a retirement home as the prize. My life did not lack adventure for sure! After all, the only states I have not been to are Alaska, Hawaii, and maybe Delaware. But several things were going on that made keeping my eyes on the prize a little more challenging.

First of all, when Key West was taken off the menu in season 2017/2018 (and no one knew if our campground would ever be the same down the road- and it’s not!) it was extremely disappointing. I liked being stationary there in paradise over the winter months more than driving from place to place. In fact, that was my least favorite part of RV life. Stressing about securing everything for rolling down the highway and getting there safely was all on me. Roger never stressed or worried about anything and loved driving the bus. I did not always love being the passenger. The roads across the country are not all in good shape and the number of crazy drivers on them is increasingly frustrating. One of our scariest moments was when we were going North thru Birmingham on I65 and I could barely hear a strange sound like metal hitting the pavement. I immediately looked at the rear camera to see if our tow car was okay. It appeared fine and I told Roger what I was hearing (he heard nothing on the driver’s side.) I opened my window for a better listen and I heard it again. It was coming from the rear and I could barely hear it (40 feet behind you), but I told him to pull over ASAP! We were approaching the interchange where we needed to get off I65 and merge left on I22, so he could not just pull off immediately. My heart was racing thinking something must be wrong with Betsy. We eventually got to the berm on I22 and I jumped out first to see what was wrong. I looked at the tow hitch and the car all the way around and all looked fine. As I started toward the front I could see something did not appear normal with the RV’s tailpipe. I got down on my knees and to my utter amazement, the entire tailpipe was hanging on by about one inch of rusted steel and dragging on the pavement with every bump in the road! I believe that we were definitely within an inch of total devastation to our tow car had the tailpipe broke loose in another second or two! They are very heavy (Roger had to remove it and store it.) I can’t even bring myself to think of the damage it could have also caused to the vehicle behind us!

This was a costly repair and we could not keep going until it was fixed. It’s a whole lot of explanation, but the bottom line is; regeneration and extreme high temperatures during the process in a diesel engine. We literally could have caught the RV on fire.

If these sort of road hazards weren’t enough, there was bad weather to consider. Some of my worst fears would come to life every single time a tornado siren went off, hail was predicted, and of course, the Hurricanes!

Second, when I was laid up in the hospital, I thought about how much I missed having the security of great medical care on the road if something were to go bad in the middle of BFE. There is no place like home in an emergency. There is also nothing like being surrounded by people who care about you when life gets difficult. If we had been traveling during my pneumonia and collapsed lung episode, I might not be here to tell you this story today. One minute my lungs were clear, and the next minute, they weren’t! Who would have known my lungs were failing until I could no longer breath?

Third, I realized that no matter where you go and what you see, the thrill is only temporary. It is truly like an addiction. You go somewhere new. You get your fix, and then you move on in search of your next fix. But just like with any other addiction, it can become expensive and what do you do if you run out of money? I did not want to make bad choices that could keep us in the RV until death do us part.

Lastly, the housing market was morphing slowly but surely into a seller’s market and my gut was telling me that nothing good was going to come of it for buyers at our age. We were living on a fixed income in a depreciating vehicle that would have to be sold in order to buy a home, and that would not be an easy task. (I knew I was in deep shit when the recession hit me years ago, and we all know how that turned out!) I did not want to be in a situation where we would be caught with our pants down in a bad market and I would be able to look at Roger and say “I told you so!” Some people might just consider me a worrywart, but if I was, it came directly from having been through the experience of loss and devastation in my past. No one desires to turn around and run back into a collapsing building once they just narrowly escaped from it.

My feelings were strong enough that I knew I should talk to my husband about how I felt. Holding back my feelings would only lead to a more serious discontentment. It was the second hardest moment in our relationship (quitting smoking was #1), but I discussed with him how I was having second thoughts and some regrets about our decision to go FT. I did not go well. You don’t tell the military to pull out of a mission before it’s completed and that’s exactly what I was hinting at doing.

I was not fulfilling my end of the bargain because we were only about 16 months into it when I broke this news flash to Roger. But here’s the thing about the kind of agreement we had. No one ever said I had to love being FT. How could anyone ever know in advance if you’re going to love doing something or not? It’s like me telling you that you’ll love chocolate pecan ice cream, and after you try it, you say “it’s okay, but I don’t love it.” I can’t make you love it. Or if I tell you “you’re going to enjoy fishing out on the ocean.” But one hour into it, you’re hanging over the side of the boat puking you guts out. Tell me how much you’re loving it now!

Don’t I get some credit for trying what most people would never dare to do? Traveling part time was fine for me, but not having a home to return to after 5 or 6 months was not. So Roger asked me for another year (maybe two,) but he knew what my true feelings were and I would not have to tip toe around it from this point forward.

I would focus on my art, my blog, and activities in our RV Resort while in the south and visiting family and friends in the North over the summer of 2019. It was at this point that I started keeping my eye on housing in both markets. We were leaning on staying up North because it’s where all of our friends and family are, but small ranch homes in the country were becoming the desire of the masses and inventory was shrinking rapidly. So prices were going up and bidding wars were trending. It was all just a matter of time before an affordable home would become just another dream.

The Butterfly series is in the top three of my most requested artworks and one of the most difficult to create, due to the symmetrical aspect.

“I have two of Lorraine’s awesome shell artworks. The Rooster from when we first met in Key West is proudly displayed in our NH home. The beautiful customized butterfly she made specifically for me was a surprise gift from my hubby John, and hangs on my bedroom wall. I love them both and think of Lorraine and Roger often whenever I look at them!”

One of my dreams for retirement after I lost the home I built in the country, was to have a much smaller cabin-styled home situated on about an acre of land just far enough out to be away from traffic, yet still convenient. Ever since the day I walked into the Log Home Roger and I spent that beautiful weekend in and where we were married at, I focused on a much smaller version for our retirement. Roger loved doing yard work and gardening, as well as having his privacy, so condo living would never be on our table. (I always said, he would go straight from yard work to the grave with no condo in between!)

I had a Realtor that sold log homes keeping me informed on pricing, requirements, and potential properties to build on. I also had a Realtor friend looking for existing homes in a defined area that Roger and I could potentially live to grow old in. I had another Realtor in Florida that kept in touch with me just in case we decided that the warmer climate would ultimately work out better for us. All my bases were covered, but Roger wasn’t ready and I was just noise to his ears.

I finally convinced him that we should just get pre-approved by the mortgage company that my Realtor friend worked with in order to know for sure what we could afford if the right house would come along. (I wouldn’t want to waste anyone’s time and also curious!) He agreed to it and I pulled all the paperwork together and submitted it. He was still very reluctant, but this was a start. The good news was, we were approved! The bad news was, any deal would be contingent on the RV being sold. The banks frown heavily on RV’s in general. Let’s face it- it would be so easy to buy an RV and just drive away and not pay for it! So the requirements are tougher than when you buy a stationary house. Once you have an RV, they consider it almost as a second mortgage, and we could only afford to have one mortgage payment on our fixed income. They also would not count my seasonal income because I did not meet the required pay history with my last employer (at least six months of the year.)

So there you have it in a nutshell. How would we sell our RV (which is our home) to buy a house before we actually buy the house? Where would we go in between? We didn’t own any furniture because the RV has everything built-in, so an apartment really wouldn’t work. Why you ask? Because once you are pre-approved financially, you can’t just go out and buy furniture with your money being under the mortgage microscope. And how could we buy furniture until we know what house we are going to end up in? How would we know what size the bedrooms would be until you actually have a contract on a house? Once we were under contract on a house, everything would hinge on the inspections. So what if we canceled the contract because it didn’t pass or needed too much fixed? Could we find a place to live temporarily without shelling out a ton of money? Friends in the area did offer us that short-term solution, but how long do you impose on someone’s good intentions? What if the RV didn’t sell till next spring or summer? Way too many what-ifs and Roger grew more anxious to get the hell-out-of-Dodge!

There were so many decisions that would have to be made that it was mind boggling. We would both get terribly upset and disappointed. We did look at quite a few places and fell in love with a few places! We took a chance and even put bids on a few places. But it all came down to one thing in the end. Could we sell the RV in Ohio with Fall and Winter barreling down on us? The answer was no. Selling The Beast was much more difficult than either of us ever anticipated. Sometimes you get lucky, and sometimes you don’t. Right place, right time. Both were not right for us.

So I was forced to pull up my big girl panties and off to Florida we went for another winter. Maybe this would be the winter we could return to the Keys! Now there is something I could wrap my head around!! But I had a bad feeling in my gut. For some reason, my heart was telling me we would not be returning to Ohio to live.

I was right.

The custom Autumn in the Mountains artwork was created from the remaining wood repurposed from the cuckoo clock I spoke of previously. This one was purchased by my sister Jolie and hangs in her home annually during the Fall season. The uniqueness comes from the actual leaves, acorns, pinecones, and seashells incorporated into the painting.

ARTISTICALLY SPEAKING

SCENE TWENTY FIVE

After having a fabulous trip North to Copper Harbor in the UP, we meandered around the Midwest visiting many other Key West friends. We started by the waterfront town of Sheboygan, Wisconsin and went on to Waunakee, where my Sister from another Mother and her Husband lived. (It was also where Cheryl & Dave introduced us to our first ever Culver burger! Yummy!) From there we made our way thru Iowa, Missouri, Arkansas, Tennessee, Mississippi, and Alabama, seeing very interesting sights along the way. (The Field of Dreams in Dyersville, Iowa, for one. Also, the Fort Smith area of Arkansas was pretty neat.) We ended up staying at NAS Pensacola, Florida right on the beach.

Our goal was to be back in the Keys again for winter, but Hurricane Irma had other ideas and became a major threat to our safety (and my sanity.) I watched in horror as she moved slightly west towards us every day and her path grew wider than 400 miles. Irma was unpredictable and one of the longest lasting. (August 30 – September 14) She was one of the strongest Atlantic Hurricanes in history (Category 5 with 185 mph winds.) It was my brake-in hurricane and I will never forget it! We almost left the area, but honestly didn’t know for sure of her direction, so which way to go was the begging question. Going the wrong way could have put us in harms way. Since we were sitting on the west side of the storm (the safer side, as we have since learned) we stayed put in Pensacola. The commander felt it was safe for the RV’s to remain, or trust me, my ass would have been gone! We were full of fuel, fresh water, waste tanks empty, and plenty of food, making us as heavy as we could get, and also ready to evacuate quickly. The wonderful thing about an RV is that you can live without electricity or running water (onboard generator will power everything) on self containment for about two weeks, if you conserve water and depending on your size. However, you must stay clear of high winds and flood prone areas or your destroyed rig be on the National news for everyone to question “what the hell were they thinking?” We’ve seen it happen all too often. When it doubt, get out!

Irma was not my last scare. Once Irma departed the area, we moved on Eastward to another base in the beautiful Panama City Beach area. Hurricane Nate followed Irma, and we now sat on the East side of the storm that would make landfall eventually near Biloxi, Mississippi as a category 1. The Commander of the base ordered that we would have to evacuate from the campgrounds at the very last minute. We knew there was no time for travel and we left the RV secured (slides/awnings all in, jacks down, and everything outside stowed away) and stayed in transit quarters not too far away. The winds and rain were heavy at times, but nothing like the power of Irma. After 24 hours we were given the all clear to return to our motorhome. The Beast was free of damage and we were very thankful for that!

Key West did not fare well after taking the hit from Irma (landfall was on Cudjoe Key September 10th just 21 miles from Key West, and then a second landfall on Marco Island.) We would not be able to winter in the Keys (2017/2018 season), as much of it was ravaged by wind and flood waters. I cried for many people that we have come to know down there and I would miss seeing everyone and being there on my favorite beach- the one I had the most luck with finding sea glass and tiny shells needed for my artwork. We were in a quandary of where to go for the winter, as many places were already booked up. We stayed in Panama City till October, and then our reservation could no longer be extended (due to being fully booked), and we made our way to North Central Florida. It was there that we stayed in a very nice RV Resort. You could buy a deeded lot in this resort and we decided that if we purchased our own lot, we would always have a place to go in the future should a hurricane or any emergency leave us without the option of Key West. It was not in a coastal area (hopefully safe from most devastating hurricanes) and not really a tourist destination with heavy traffic. So that’s exactly what we did. We would have a place to park whenever we needed to and could rent it out in the future if we went to Key West. We would spend summers in Ohio at a wonderful seasonal campground and spend winters in the horse country of Florida. I was definitely a Happy Camper!

But then over the summer of 2018 while enjoying our hometown friends and family, something happened that changed my life forever. A health scare that knocked me on my keister. I got very sick with bronchitis that seemed to take a hold of me for weeks and wouldn’t let go. I was under Doctor’s care and she was keeping an eye on it, but said my lungs were clear. Then one evening, a couple of days later while visiting our friends on a cool and perfect bonfire night, I felt as if I was going to pass out and suddenly very ill. We went home and I went straight to bed, but coughed uncontrollably most of the night and lost my breath many times.

The next day, my Doctor ordered a CT scan of my lungs, which confirmed I had bilateral pneumonia with the right lung collapsing. I was in total distress with shortness of breath (anxiety galore) and told to go to the hospital in one hour where they were expecting me. They had done a pre check-in and had me in a room within minutes of my arrival where my Pulmonologist came to see me. He scheduled me for the next day to conduct a Bronchoscopy of my lungs out of concern for a 3 centimeter mass also visible on the scan. He did a biopsy, cleaned up some of the gunk in my lungs, and informed me I had bacterial pneumonia everywhere. As he put it “your lungs are in pretty bad shape.” I remained in the hospital for 5 days on heavy duty antibiotics and breathing treatments. My mind was rampant with thoughts of my life and my future. One thing was perfectly clear. My Doctor’s exact words to me were “Honey, if I were you, I wouldn’t put another cigarette to my lips as long as I live.” You don’t forget something like that. It wasn’t a suggestion. It was more like a prescription to give me life.

I made the decision to never smoke another cigarette for as long as I live. I was very depressed and I knew this would be difficult, as Roger and I were both smokers since before the day we met, and now one of us would not be. It complicated my life more than a non-smoker will ever know or understand. It even complicated our relationship because overnight, one of you is different (I have lived thru this complicated scenario once before, if you’ve been following my story, with Tom.) It’s not pretty, but I was determined not to fail.

No more coffee and cigarette first thing in the morning together planning our day. No more Happy Hour with a cigarette in one hand and a cocktail in the other. Whenever we visited smoking friends, they would all be smoking and I would not. I would have to see it. I would have to smell it. I alone, would have to deal with it! Roger was upset because he lost his closest smoking buddy sitting outside with him. I was upset because I had to stay inside or watch him doing what I missed doing so much. Nicotine is the most acceptable and addictive drug on earth and I couldn’t have it! It was pure torture both mentally and physically for weeks on end. Weeks turned into months. The torture never stopped.

This was a game-changer. I was still recovering from the pneumonia after-affects (so fatigued that I could not function as normal for months) and extremely depressed. Living in an RV (a tiny house, so to speak) I could not get far enough away from Roger to not smell the smoke on him. I could not expect him to understand because a smoker never realizes how they smell until they’ve quit. I respected his right to smoke, but he had to respect my right not to. I wanted to live more healthy and it became a contest of wills and skills between us. If I said anything about it, it became contentious. If I didn’t say anything, it was as if I was ignoring him. It was lose/lose for my relationship even though it was a win for my health.

I have shown great strength in my past struggles, but this would become one of my most triumphant moments. As I sit here today writing this book, I have remained nicotine free for over three years. Cigarettes have been right under my nose and in plain sight every single day the entire time, but I am a non-smoker. Roger still smokes, but it is no longer an issue between us. I no longer desire to smoke with him, but I can be around him when he does (outdoors only). My smoking friends can still smoke in social outdoor settings, and I no longer hate it when they do.

Congratulations to anyone that has quit, and to those of us who are married to someone that still smokes? WE deserve a medal for our greatest accomplishment! We have also saved approximately $2500 a year. And to all my smoking friends out there, I accept it and still respect you. I will never be that person that harps on you to quit. Ever!

In October 2018, we returned to our private resort. We finally made it to Key West in January 2019 for a month and I was able to collect shells and glass on my favorite beach. We were in dry camp for two weeks and FHU for 2 weeks. We decided to return to our Resort in North Central Florida before going back to dry camp. After all, we had a beautiful pool, a clubhouse, friends and constant activities. The beach was only 62 miles away when the urge hit. We had gotten spoiled with all the amenities!

We also had a 10’ x 14’ shed on our property that we had finished inside with a work shop for me to do my artworks on one side, and a work bench for Roger on the other side. He was enjoying some yard work on our large 5000 SQFT lot to keep him busy and I had plenty of seashells to keep doing my art for awhile, so that is exactly what I did.

It was here in my own workshop that I really started painting and working on my shell art projects. Once some of the people we met started seeing my artwork, I was asked if I could feature some of my work in the Clubhouse (which desperately needed some wall décor.) I was honored to provide several pieces and it certainly was a compliment that people liked my work enough to feature it where we all gathered.

I never pursued my art enough to hang it in a gallery somewhere, as my travel and personal life was always my priority. I wanted to work on it at my own pace with no pressure for enjoyment only. You don’t have to have your artwork hanging in a gallery to be considered an Artist. If people enjoy your art, request a custom work, showcase it anywhere, or want to pay you for it; you are an Artist!

I also provided some artwork for events that required raffle items to raise money for our A.C.T.I.O.N. Committee (A Community Team Improving Our Neighborhood). As I participated in these functions, people would ask me to do something specific for them. One of the pieces I did was for our neighbor lady and friend who lost her husband. She asked if I could do something to honor his service to our country in the Navy. I was happy to do a personalized project for her. (bottom right)

The Wine & Grapes series of artworks I did resulted from a request by my Key West friend. They continue to be a favorite.

“I was lucky enough to acquire three of Lorraine’s beautiful shell artworks of wine bottles, grapes, and glass. One was for me, one for my daughter, and one for my daughter-in-law. We ALL love them! Beautful and meticulous creations.”

Evelyn McKeen Rippe W. from North Carolina