A Bonus Memory made today on Christmas morning 2021:

There is a saying about “being on the same wave length” when two people are thinking about the same thing at the same time. I started writing about “Kodak Moments” and sharing Moments and Memories of my childhood during the Holidays on November 15th. I shared with my readers how my Dad took movies of us with and old Bell & Howell camera and we’d project them on a white screen in our living room for family entertainment. Little did I know that my little Sister Jolie was also thinking about those movies on the very same day I shared my blog.

I also shared this photo of the gift my little Sister sent to me from across the miles that stated “Open on Christmas.” I have stared at that box since the day it arrived early in December wondering what surprise lies under my tree just waiting for me to set it free. It was kind of heavy, but kind of squishy too. She knows how much I miss wearing matching jammies on Christmas morning like we used to do so long ago when I lived close to home. So perhaps it was jammies, but seemed kind of heavy??? I would wait patiently for Christmas morning as instructed to do.

Merry Christmas! Today was the big day. Both of my sisters sent me presents that were begging for me to open them. I almost opened one last night on Christmas Eve, as I was feeling a little down when I crawled into bed. We had a lovely evening with our friends and shared good conversations, great food, wine, and memories. But once they had left, and the quiet of the night settled in, I started thinking of my family before I turned out the lights of the tree and went to bed. We used to open our presents as adults on Christmas Eve so we could enjoy watching each other, and then packed the car up and headed to our own homes for Christmas morning. But there was no fun in doing that here because no one would see me open one anyway. So off to bed I went.

My husband and I wished each other Merry Christmas this morning and I had my coffee with a few homemade cookies. I stared at the boxes under the tree for just a little while longer. Finally, I was ready. I opened everything from my big Sister first and loved my surprises! I had only guessed one correctly (the Hallmark ornament pictured below). I could have never guessed the homemade mason jar candle (pictured below right), which is even more special that she made it and so pretty when it flickers! I texted her a picture and thanked her for all her thoughtful gifts! She won’t be home until tonight after traveling to her daughter’s house and Nephew’s dinner party, so she hadn’t opened my gift yet. I sipped my coffee a little more as we texted back and forth.

And then I couldn’t stand it another minute. I got the box cutter out and very carefully cut open the box from my little Sister. It was packed full of stuff with a card laying at the top of it. There was directions in the card and I found a pair of beautiful jammies, all sorts of delicious teas, gourmet chocolates, a pack of tissues, and three DVD’s numbered 1, 2, & 3.

I did exactly as I was instructed to do just a little before 9:30 am. I put on my new jammies (a perfect fit). I brewed a cup of Lady Grey tea, and had my chocolates and tissues right next to me. I placed DVD #1 in the player, sat back and looked up at the screen to see the picture (above right) pop up in front of my eyes. The very first red photo gave it all away in an instant.

On that very same day that I shared my blog back in November, Jolie had picked up these DVD’s. What she did was give me the most amazing and wonderful gift that you can possibly give. She brought my Mom and Dad back to life on the screen, and my entire family was there for me to enjoy! I could not believe my eyes! And then suddenly, they were filled with tears and more tears. Uncontrollable tears of joy were streaming down my face. All the stories that I have told you- my readers, all came back from the dead. Jolie resurrected all those old movies (even the cartoons!) and gave them life on the screen once more! I thought that box of old movies had probably disintegrated with time and were just a faded memory. But here I was on Christmas morning sitting in my chair watching my young Mother and Father alive and well. Then my big Sister Jayla. Then me, and finally, Jolie in her cast and her red radio flyer wagon! Jozeffy was playing his records on the picnic table while the rest of us were jumping and playing around in our backyard pool. It wasn’t just a memory anymore. It was real– all playing out right in front of my eyes. My perfect childhood- even my Aunt and Uncle’s first boat! It was happening in my living room as I cried.

They say “Memories are perhaps the best gift of all.” If this is true, my little Sister gave all of us the best gift of all this year. She brought the magic of Christmas back to life during a tough time in all of our lives.

I watched my Dad today turning a wrench on an old car. (If you read my book, you know he started out as a mechanic). I saw my Mom twirling my big sister around with such love in her eyes. I saw my Grandma and Grandpa, my cousins, my life! I was a baby today with a big bright smile. My big Sister was hugging me and kissing me. I saw myself kissing my little Sister Jolie gently on her forehead as she crawled across the floor dragging that body cast around like it was nothing. I was swinging next to my Mom today. I saw my parents young and in love like it was just yesterday. I saw them alive today!

Yes, memories are indeed one of the best gifts in life! That was the surprise that was waiting for me… laying in that box under the Christmas tree…

A special Thank you from the bottom of my heart to both of my Sisters for making Christmas special this year. I love you both and sent you a hug! XOXOXO

Christmas is a time of Firsts:

I can’t tell you enough how I love these pictures! My Dad is holding my Son during his first Christmas above. He was so young- just a little grey in the temples and always had pens in his chest pocket from work. My Grandma with her pretty white cardigan sweater on- holding my Son in his new Christmas jammies, including a stocking hat. My heart is flooded with love and emotions whenever I look at these photos.

Isn’t that what Christmas memories are all about? Flooding your heart with emotions and your mind runs rampant with all the good memories associated with celebrations and traditions of years gone by. It is sort of like a drug- Once you have achieved the greatest high, your search for that same feeling is un-ending. If you set the bar as high as it can go, you spend your whole life trying to achieve that same feeling for the rest of your life. This is why Christmas is never exactly the same as when you are a child for the rest of your life. You are addicted to Christmas!

Christmas is all about “firsts.” Your first memory of the magic of Christmas as a young child is the one that lives on in your heart forever: Santa Clause & opening presents, the glowing Christmas tree and decorations in your own home, driving around in your car with your Momma and Daddy mesmerized by the Christmas lights that adorn every house and every town, a church choir singing beautifully on Christmas Eve about the birth of Christ. Your first cup of hot chocolate with marshmallows made with love by your Mom is, as Hallmark says; “Christmas in a cup.”

As you turn into an adult, you probably experience your first adult Christmas party filled with laughter and good cheer (meaning alcohol and gift exchanges), and some were better than others. You attend your first Employer sponsored Holiday party and find out more about the people you work with. Like who can drink responsibly and who can’t. You find out who has happy hands and tries to cop a feel when he thinks no one is watching. You also learn why they call a toilet the “porcelain god” because you find yourself kneeling in front of it.

Then you celebrate your first Christmas with the one you love and marry. I actually married (the first time) right before Christmas and it was all so grand! (Until it wasn’t years later.) There is Baby’s first Christmas and usually everyone has an ornament to commemorate the occasion. This marks the beginning of what it means to carry on all the wonderful traditions that your Parents created especially for you. It means you get to re-live all the best times of your life with your own children now- a time when you can act like a big kid again and play Santa, but you get to drink adult Holiday beverages too! Finally, there’s a Grandchild’s first Christmas and you can supervise your own child repeating traditions (or the lack of.)

There is the first time you host a big Family Christmas and learn just how much your Mom and your Grandma worked their asses off creating all those memorable holiday feasts with bountiful cookies and desserts! Still, all was worth it and great times were had by all.

The worst first of any is going through a Christmas without a loved one or when a family member is very ill. Now you find out what sadness is like during a Holiday. The first one without Grandma. The first one divorced. The worst ever for me was the first one without my Mom. This is when you learn the true meaning of why people say “Christmas is not always a happy celebration,” because up until now, you didn’t understand how truly sad some people are during the Holidays. Now you get it. Now you learn more about giving than receiving. You have learned that Christmas has nothing to do with presents- it’s about spending quality time with the ones you love. If someone would have told you this when you were young and waiting for Santa to bring you your most desired toy, you could not have understood it as you do now. Try celebrating your first Christmas without employment or see someone lose their home to learn what the “true meaning of Christmas” is.

Now you’re at the point in life where you might have your first Christmas away from home by taking a trip with your immediate family. You might feel a little guilty for breaking tradition, but figure- what the hell, it’s my life. You might move to warmer climate as I have, and no longer live by family, so you start to create your own new traditions by going to the beach or to your favorite tiki bar!

Whatever you are doing and wherever you are doing it, just remember this; it is about the feeling you get at Christmas that was first set in stone when you were between 6 and 8 years old. For some of us, it is the best times in our lives. For others, it may be filled with loss or tragedy. But once you are an adult, it is what you make it! You can choose joy always over pain and sadness. You can surround yourself with happiness or misery (remember, misery loves company).

This year, We are having two of our best friends over for a traditional Italian dinner. We are not exchanging gifts. We are sharing precious time with each other. There will be laughter and great food! On Christmas morning, I have gifts to open from my two Sisters, and they have gifts from me. We share conversations and pictures of the cookies we made. Hopefully, I will hear from my Son.

So my wish for all of you is to have a very Merry Christmas and a healthy and Happy New Year! I ran out of time to share more Christmas stories with you because we took a last minute trip to an Island on the Gulf coast for a long weekend (perhaps a new Holiday tradition!) But I made my Christmas cookies, and now I am working on preparations for Christmas Eve dinner.

One last story from Christmas 1978:

My Dad wanted a filing cabinet one year and My Mom and I decided that we would buy him one. We had to figure out how to get it in the house and where to hide it. I am not sure how we carried it into the house, but we did with someone’s help! My Dad was at work, so the coast was clear. We cleaned out the back of my old closet by moving all the clothes to one side. I believe we had to remove the sliding doors to do it! Once we shimmied it into the back and to one side, we pushed the clothes all back in place so that it was not visible at first sight.

Now the fun part. On Christmas Eve, we sent my Dad on a scavenger hunt by giving him clues as to where he might find his gift. We had him looking everywhere, including in the basement. Just about the time he was exhausted from looking and laughing, he found a little gift wrapped on the window seal right behind his head the whole time. In that box was the keys to the filing cabinet drawers. He figured it out, but still didn’t know where the cabinet was! After much laughter, we finally gave him the clue that led him to my old closet (probably Jolie’s at this point), where he could barely see the cabinet through the clothes. He was so surprised and I captured the moment…

This is what Christmas memories are to me……

Best Christmas Ever:

We’ve all said it. Probably more than once. But the year I received my Kenner Easy Bake Oven definitely ranked up there with the best!

I loved being in the kitchen with my Mom and my Grandma learning to be a good little homemaker some day. Probably to the point that I drove them a bit crazy at times in the kitchen, but hey, I did turn out to be a good cook and baker too!

Once I saw this lightbulb heated oven advertised on TV (it was introduced in 1963, but I didn’t see it or get it until probably 1964 or 65) it was all I could think of! How cool it would be to actually bake on my own without my Mom having to help me. I was probably obsessed with it, and not even sure if I believed Santa or his helpers (Mom & Dad) put it under our tree. All I vividly remember was being so happy to get it that I cried! Of course, I was baking with it probably within the first hour of receiving it. The second big package I opened contained boxes of baking mixes like cakes and cookies. Oh what a sight to see!

Some of the other years have become a blur, but the Easy Bake Oven and the Kenner Give-a-Show Projector were two of the best toys I ever received in my younger days. We usually received clothes because we got what we needed more than what we wanted.

I shared a few experiences once I was old enough to be one of Santa’s helpers with Jolie’s kitchen set assembly, and when she received her life-sized doll. But there is one year as Santa’s helper that ranks right at the top for all time funniest Christmas Eves in our house ever.

For those that read my book (Painter of Shells), you would know that my little brother Jozef loved to rock to music more than anything else in the world. He had a teddy bear rocking chair (called The Bubba Chair) and eventually outgrew it and wore it out to it’s breaking point. He was an adorable toddler missing his chair terribly. So My Mom and Dad decided that Santa would bring him a rocking horse for Christmas that year so that he might stop missing the chair so much.

So on Christmas Eve, once Jozef was fast asleep dreaming of sugar plums and Santa- my Dad, Jayla, her boyfriend (future husband), and me, stepped into Mom and Dad’s bedroom to assemble the rocking horse so that Jozef would see it next to the Christmas tree on Christmas morning. It was a beautiful horse and the two men began assembly with Jayla reading out the directions. I mostly watched the process unfold and stayed out of the way. When it was time to place the horse into the stand, the four springs were very tight and caused some muffled laughter and giggling amongst us- trying not to wake Jozeffy in the bedroom across the hall. It was difficult, but they finally got it all done and we were ready to put him out by the tree. I checked to make sure Jozef was still in his bed asleep and gave the all clear.

They never realized until this very moment just how big the rocking horse was. The pretty horse almost looked to be smiling at us, but would not fit through the door no matter which way they turned him! More laughing ensued as I kept saying “shhhh” because we were in the hallway. We were uncontrollable at this point and my Mom came down the hall to see what all the commotion was, also reminding us that Jozef might hear us. (I may have heard a few more swear words that night!) I think the joke may have been that my Dad was ready to punch that smiley-faced horse right in the mouth (like a scene right out of Blazing Saddles!)

So the horse is practically stuck in the doorway now, but they managed to pull him back into the bedroom with the realization that they were going to have to remove the horse from the stand and lead him by himself out the door. The springs were not any easier getting them off than they were putting them on, but they finally succeeded in disconnecting the horse from its stand.

Now the mission was to get the stand somehow through the doorway. When all was said and done, my Dad basically had to disassemble the whole damn thing and rebuild it out by the tree! We all laughed so much about this for years to come that it became a classic tale of Santa and his helpers that built the misfit toy that was way too big to fit through any doorway. My Dad was probably pissed, but because we were all laughing and giggling, it became too hilarious and fun to get mad!

After all. there would be no funny story to tell had my Dad known from the very start not to assemble that rocking horse in the bedroom on Christmas Eve. I still remember how that horse just seemed to smile at us the whole time…There are pictures somewhere of that horse. Someday, I may see him again…

Jozef loved his horse! He mounted up and immediately started moving. Once he got into a rhythm, we thought he’d never stop! After Christmas, that horse sat in front of the living room picture window smiling for hours as our little brother rocked away. We would have to periodically check on him because he would rock so hard, that the horse seemed to crawl across the floor into other furniture! We’d push him back into place without him missing a beat! I think eventually, my Dad had to increase the rubber under the stand, because the rubber it came with just wasn’t strong enough to hold back the power of that crazy smiling horse!

One I am not proud of:

I don’t remember what age I was when by big sister spilled the beans that Mom and Dad were Santa Claus in plain clothes. I just know that I was really let down at first to know the only jolly “big guy” delivering the presents to our house was my Dad. At least I didn’t lay in bed at night worrying how Santa could get down a fake fireplace and chimney! pheew!!

My Mother never let the spirit of Santa Claus die in our house. It was important that we would “still believe” in the magic of Christmas to carry on the tradition for years to come, and with our own children and grandchildren some day. The spirit of Christmas lives on in each and every one of us. Besides, when my little Sister and Brother came along years later, I got to be one of Santa’s helpers too!

Handmade ornaments and decorations were also “a thing” in our house. My Grandmother started that tradition out of necessity, as she worked very hard to make ends meet, and Christmas was always a struggle for her financially. However, that didn’t diminish her love for the Holiday celebrations one iota!

The doorknob hanger (far right photo above) was made by my Grandma. My Mother used it (and anything else that had bells) when we were young children to get us to behave. How so, you might ask? Those two little bells were jingled by my Mom just out of our view every day whenever we were trying our darndest to get on the naughty list! She would then say to us “Did you hear that?” Our eyes as big as saucers because yes, we did. “That was one of Santa’s elves and he’s watching you! You better behave right this minute or he will tell Santa you were being bad!” Boy, did that work for a long time! And then it worked for my Son. And then it worked for the Grandchildren. It worked for every single child in our family! At least for awhile.

Once I found out my Mom and Dad were helping carry out the deeds of Santa Claus, I went straight to them with my pleas for desired gifts- some of which never came, but you never knew what you would get and what you wouldn’t. So here’s the story I’m not proud of…

Jayla found the hiding spot one year of the stash of presents that were to be delivered under the tree on Christmas Eve while we were sleeping. She then told me all about it and I had to go peak with her to see with my own eyes that she wasn’t lying to me. The items were already wrapped, so we tried to see thru the wrapping paper to figure out the treasure that laid within. No luck. So we eventually gave up before getting caught.

The long stocking hats with a tassel or ball on the end made their debut heavily in the late 60’s in our neighborhood, and I wanted one in the worst way! Our neighbor friends were already starting to get them. I begged my Mom and Dad for one, but it didn’t happen. She commented that maybe I would get one for Christmas and to stop yammering about it.

I returned several times to the stash in my Mom and Dad’s closet to sneak a peek when I could. One day, there was a new square box (not too big & not too small) on top of the stash. This one was not wrapped yet. Dare I peek inside to see? I did. And what to my wandering eyes should appear? A red, green & white stocking hat! I was so excited that I could not resist the temptation to take it out and try it on! My Mom had a full length mirror on the back of her door and I stood there admiring it and so full of joy! I felt like the luckiest kid on the block! Then I tucked it away and placed it back on the pile as if I were never there.

I thought about it every day. The weather was getting colder and we got some snow, and I dared to bring up the subject of how badly I wished I had a stocking hat to keep my head warm to my Mom. I pushed a little too far that morning and my Mother blurted out “Were you snooping around looking for your Christmas presents?” I tried with all my might not to look guilty as charged and answered “No.” My Mother responded with “if I find out you were snooping around, you won’t get anything but a big lump of coal this Christmas, so help me God!”

Boy, did I screw up! I’m pretty sure my Mother figured out I was snooping in her closet, in her bedroom, and then lied to her about it! That meant she might tell my Dad! Worse, as a Catholic girl, I had to confess that I lied to the priest when I went to confession! OMG! What have I done!

I lost sleep over that. I not only lied to my Mother, which I never did like that before, but I ruined one of the few surprises that I would have to open up on Christmas morning! I have never forgotten how bad it made me feel to lie and to ruin the surprise of it all- and have to act surprised in front of my parents on Christmas morning upon opening that gift. I learned that temptation can sometimes get the best of us and it was wrong. My Mother knew I peeked and she knew I struggled through it. She confronted me eventually and I promised not to ever do it again. I cried in my bedroom all alone over the whole thing.

I am awesome now at not peeking ever since that incident when I was very young. I can keep a secret very well. You better believe when my Sister’s send me a present now as adults, that gift will sit untouched until Christmas!!!

Those were the Days:

I don’t have many photos of my childhood in my possession, but I love these two pictures. I built a snowman in front of my childhood home in 1974. My Son (age 4) and I built a Papa Smurf snowman in 1982. I had no idea I would be such a young Mother when I built that snowman. It seems like just yesterday that my little Sister and Brother built that baby snowman in the background of my big guy, and just 4 years later, I was married and gave birth to a child of my own.

I think I was just about my Son’s age when my Dad first let me go with him and my big sister Jayla to pick out our family Christmas tree. Back in the 60’s, the only artificial tree I had ever seen was my Grandma’s aluminum tree that was lit by a color wheel alternating between 4 shades (blue, yellow, red & green.) She got tired of dealing with a live tree, and it also saved her money, as my Grandpa was deceased at a young age leaving my Grandma to survive on her own with a house payment. Remember, back then, women had it rough finding any decent job, let alone one that payed well enough to live on.

My Dad prided himself in teaching us to pick out a blue spruce or balsam pine Christmas tree that was big enough to cause my Mother to have a conniption when she saw it. It was hilarious to Jayla and I that my Mother would say a few bad words in Italian every year regarding the size of our tree, and my Dad felt like he had just earned an award! We still laugh about those outbursts to this day. The look on my Dad’s face was always priceless, as he appeared to be an innocent little boy that just got caught with his hand in the cookie jar! It was usually followed by the word “What?”

One year, in particular, we outdid ourselves. My Dad managed to get the monstrosity of a tree we all agreed on secured to the roof of our car and safely to our house. It took some doing with all hands on deck to get it off the car, but as it laid there in our yard, it occurred to my Dad that we may have a little problem getting it through our front door. I remember the hand saw became one of the only choices we had, as my Dad had to remove several large branches at the base in order to get it in the door. My Dad recruited some man power from, I believe, the next door neighbor, and there was a lot of tugging and pulling going on. It was a major relief when it came full force through the door and laid there on the floor. All eyes were on it, as if it were a whale that just burst through and laid there lifeless- consuming our living room floor. My Mother took the Lord’s name in vain that year out loud, as we had to rearrange all the furniture to accommodate the beast. I am sure she mentioned it during confession that week, and I’m sure she was forgiven. My parents rarely ever drank, but I believe that moment may have called for a shot and a beer with the neighbor, referred to as a boilermaker!

Usually, our trees went in front of the large picture window so that it could be proudly displayed for all to see driving past our house. Only this time, it was too obtrusive and seemed like it was literally in the middle of the room. So my parents opted for placement in the corner that year, so that we could actually walk through to the kitchen and see the television from the couch. It was beautifully lit with multi colored bulbs, silver and gold garland, large and small antique ornaments, and laden with tinsel. The top was still too tall for the angel and had to be chopped off for her to stand tall. I still remember how exciting it was every time someone walked in the door that year to see the look on their faces when they first set eyes on our tree.

Being that our parents were both musicians, our house was always filled with music, and Christmas was no exception. We would stack the record player with as many records as you could to play one after the other; Bing Crosby, Johnny Mathis, Nat King Cole, Barbara Streisand, Herb Alpert & the Tijuana Brass- and Jayla’s and my favorite; Leroy Anderson’s “Sleigh Ride.” We would run around the house pretending to be reindeer as the crack of the whip sound came on!

My Dad’s favorite thing was listening to Christmas music in the living room with only the tree lights and various decorations lighting the room. My Mother would make us hot chocolate with marshmallows to sip on, as my Dad sipped on his coffee. Priceless memories that I hold very near to my heart. We all had our part in this family tradition and those live family Christmas trees were the centerpiece for the course of events.

My Dad died from complications brought on by dementia, but before I left for winter that year, my sisters and I put up a Fall tree to light up in his room (which they later decorated for Christmas.) My Dad would be able to enjoy a decorated tree in his room, as he loved to do. These were the last memories I have of us all together before my Dad’s passing away in January after these pictures were taken. My Brother was there also, but left before we took these photos. We laughed and enjoyed the moments and memories…