Just Because…

I really don’t have a story or a lesson to share, I simply want to write today to uplift my spirits and anyone else that perhaps needs a little uplifting. It is a cloudy and chilly 53 degrees today and I love to write, so what better time to do it.

The grief site I have been a part of went thru a weird transformation over the last weekend because one person caused an uproar. The admins shut the site down for several days to access the situation and it’s back on track this week. It made me pause and think that one person can really rock the boat and cause everyone else to sit still holding their breath in hopes they don’t go under because of one person’s selfish actions.

The site is more about growing and moving forward with life after loss, which is what attracted me to it in the first place. I have a strong need to move forward, and that is because my situation is very different than others and difficult to explain. The point is; there is no need for me to explain it to anyone, and that is not being selfish. I am healing from trauma and not asking for anyone else to “hold their breath,” I am simply making decisions that suit me best and won’t affect anyone else.

So how do you find happiness after surviving on a sinking ship? My life is geared towards finding that happiness, and so far, so good!

The first and biggest step for me was moving from the place that was filled with worry, sadness and concern to a place that felt comfortable and close to my immediate family. We can never truly eliminate worry and concern, so I focused on getting rid of the sadness. My family has replaced the sadness I carried in my heart with an unbelievable happiness that I haven’t felt in years! Dining together, talking, planning future events and holidays have been euphoric! And the shopping- well everyone needs a little retail therapy now and then, but I need to put the brakes on that a bit after our last trip to the mall. But, oh my, did we have fun and contribute to our area’s economy!

The second hurdle (concern) I face is winter. I haven’t lived in winter weather for over 10 years, but I am thinking positive thoughts and making it fun. I have been truly enjoying Fall colors and buying things like boots, coats, sweatshirts, gloves, etc. I also don’t complain about the weather like people that have been here their whole lives often do- because I am seeing Ohio thru a new set of eyes. I feel alive and well and nothing will change that no matter where I live- positive is positive. Would I love to eliminate cloudy or rainy days? No! I want them ALL– good or bad! They all serve a purpose and I want every minute of every day! Every state has good ones and bad ones. Ohio has winter and Florida has summer. I prefer to be inside for both, so it doesn’t really make much difference to me.

The biggest difference for me is Family is here.

I couldn’t afford the town I lived in for 25 years, and finding an affordable condo during a crazy housing market wasn’t an easy task. But the outcome was far more than what I could have ever imagined! I picked a place I knew little to nothing about based on what I remembered from 30 years ago. A small (six and one half square miles) very quaint, historical area filled with street lamps downtown and lush, green hillsides and farms all around it. My sisters were my eyes and ears for the transaction and I purchased it sight unseen. I am living proof that you can take chances and come out ahead. I love my home and my sisters had my back! They both agree that my home could not suit me better.

So what is left to tell? I have moved on from a dark place in my life to a brand new place filled with new hopes and dreams. My love for life is still alive and well. I have learned that sadness is all around us every day. It is consuming for many, yet, I find it peaceful to know it and move away from it. You can never fully eliminate sadness from your life, but if you learn to embrace the possibilities that grow from it, you can find happiness again.

My little sister said something to me last weekend that made me realize something greater about myself than I ever knew before. She told me that after I lost so much in the great recession and survived from all of it, she never really doubted for a second that I could handle this move on my own and put all the darkness in the rearview mirror. My sisters both had more faith in me than I had in myself after my darkest hours. It proves to me that one of the very reasons we can survive so much sadness in life, is that we have each other to lean on.

The foundation we grew up on was built by a strong family that could face anything together. Our parents were the greatest and are remembered with such love and grace by all who knew them. I owe my strength, my will and my determination to my loving parents and I could not be happier than having my siblings to walk thru this life with!

So that is it for today. If you are sad, lonely or doubting your future- just know you are not alone. We have more strength and determination than we ever give ourselves credit for. Take it from me- someone who has had a strong foundation to build on- that we all have what it takes to be happy. We just need the desire to get there and a little support from family or friends. If you don’t have a supportive family, then you need to build a new foundation with those that will help you.

Happy trails folks and have a wonderful day…