mean different things to different people. I find myself living several scenarios of what feels like a second chance, only it didn’t come after a failure or the need to redeem myself, but rather starting a fresh new life and I keep trying and learning new things.

I believe that a second chance means I get to pursue my dreams after experiencing some major setbacks in my life, however, I am unsure of what my dreams truly are. Let me attempt to explain.

Recently, my boyfriend of over 3 months asked me if I would go with him down east of Canada to visit some family and to see areas of the East Atlantic Coastline that I’ve never seen before. Timing is everything when visiting this area if you don’t want to experience heavy snowfalls and icy conditions. So of course I couldn’t wait till we got to know each other a little better or it would have been next summer! He was planning to go with or without me so my answer was “yes, I would love to go with you.”

We engaged in many conversations and during one of them Mike said to me, “What are your dreams Lorraine? What would you like to do before you die?” This was a holy crap moment for me because I have not stopped to think of what I might want to do for the rest of my life except to be healthy and stay alive! I did not have an answer. I still don’t, but I am thinking more about it every day.

The simple answer is to seek joy in every day in every way I can before I depart this earth, but what exactly does that mean? Being able to pay my bills and keep the roof over my head is an accomplishment since losing half my income when my husband died. But is that all there’s left for me? Tagging along shopping and eating out with family brings me joy, but being on a tight budget means doing it less than I’d like. I’m grateful every time I can go, yet again, that doesn’t answer what my dreams are.

So the question remained unanswered, but we both packed and prepared for a trip to the maritime coast as far east as Mike’s truck would get us.

We started up the the US coast into Maine and continued the next day to Fredericton, New Brunswick, Canada. Mike showed me around the downtown area and we ended with a wonderful coastal dinner. In the morning, we had the most awesome breakfast at Cora’s before heading to Halifax, Nova Scotia. I highly recommend it if you find yourself there some day.

While staying in Halifax, we visited two beautiful Yacht clubs and walked around the Waterfront in the downtown area and I was introduced to the best ice cream anywhere- Cows. Mike treated me to the best restaurants, breweries and wineries during our entire trip, so why not squeeze in a waterfront dining experience in the historic town of Lunenburg. It was a magical little seaside town with jellybean colored houses and buildings. We ended that day driving after dark when we arrived in Baddeck, Nova Scotia and stayed at Auberge Gisele’s Inn.

When we approached the entrance, I could see by the way the treelined road was lit up by lampposts and a massive amount of flowers hanging everywhere with a lighted fountain focal point, that this would be a place to remember! I said, “OMG, is this where we’re staying?” Mike thought at first it was not a delighted statement, but maybe one of disappointment and asked, “Why? Is there something wrong?” I laughed nervously and said, “No! My God, it’s beautiful!” He started laughing with relief and said. “Wait till you see it all in the daylight tomorrow. I can’t wait to take you down to the Wharf!”

The room was marvelous with a fireplace and older period furniture and a comfortable queen sized bed right in front of the thermostatically controlled fireplace. It was romantic and I was there with a true gentleman.

While in Baddeck, we drove quite a bit of the Cabot Trail, one of the most scenic drives in Canada offering unrivaled views along the coast of Cape Breton. We visited Gaelic College and I fell in love with Cape Breton during several days of driving the coast. If that wasn’t enough, we traveled to Inverness and then Cheticamp, which had spectacular views!

One of the highlights of the trip was driving the Confederation Bridge to Prince Edward Island (PEI). Very high (197 feet to 394 feet) and only one lane in each direction with jersey barriers being the only obstacle between you and the edge. Even the most experienced travelers think twice as they approach the steep ramp leading you onto the bridge.

PEI did not disappoint! Charlottetown shopping, Cavendish beach, Rossignol Estate Winery on the ocean, Cows creamery, Anne of Green Gables Chocolate factory and Lobster on the Wharf dining right over the water! We stayed in a cottage within walking distance of the beach and had all the comforts of home.

This vacation was like a dream and I asked that no one pinch me or wake me up every single day! I am blessed beyond my wildest imagination to have been able to see so many beautiful places all in the span of two weeks. A whirlwind of sightseeing and all done with a wonderful and generous man that has become my best friend and so much more on so many levels.

How does this even happen? Two people meet online, drive to an unknown destination to have dinner and end up traveling together 90 days later? Chances were taken by two lonely widows and a friendship has blossomed of trust and mutual respect. I can’t even explain how lucky we are in our sixties to have met and become so important to each other in a short period of time, and trust me when I say, not everyone in my family is thrilled about it. He is Canadian and still works and I will not be changing my US citizenship, so it’s complicated with a border between us. But love knows no boundaries and a friendship has blossomed that will not be ignored. Like it or not, it is what it is and I like it!

So, the question still remains what do I dream of for my life?

I am working on trying to publish my book and have some great reviews, so that’s a good start. I have a wonderful new relationship that blindsided me but he is delightful. We talk about what the future may look like for a Canadian and an American woman (pun intended) and have no answers yet, but enjoying the journey we are on.

Perhaps for now, my dream is to continue to find joy in everything I do and not focus on the big picture. For now, I have a renewed friendship with my childhood boyfriend who looks in on me and has given me strength when I didn’t have much left. He remains a family friend and will forever be my first, best and always friend. Mike was totally unexpected and has become such a pleasant surprise in my life that I know we will find a way to continue our relationship regardless of our geography issues.

We have both been given a second chance to have happiness after the death of our spouses. Although we don’t have all the answers, we do have each other to lean on, talk to, support and give strength to. It feels really good and no one really has to understand it, just accept it for what it is. Two people trying to enjoy life and feeling love again. It is simply a wonderful thing.

Don’t ever turn your back on a second chance because the best part of your life may be yet to come. Perhaps that is the dream I dream of…

such as a beautiful picture in your mind, or a funny experience. You know what I’m talking about. The kind of experience you tell people “you had to be there.”

Well I would love to try to explain something that is truly unimaginable.

Ninety days ago, I met a wonderful man on a website for people 60 years and over. He is a widower and everyone who knows me knows that I’m a widow. (I hate that word, but that’s what it is.) We texted a lot and began talking and Facetiming. After spending approximately 18 days (or 18 dates) together, I agreed to accompany Mike to Nova Scotia, Cape Breton and PEI (Prince Edward Island). I am sitting on the Island as I write and Mike is conducting a water conservation training class via computer.

Mike drove to my house in Ohio a week ago from Canada (Yes, he is a Canadian- in case you haven’t been following.) I was attracted to him because of the profile picture of him and his wife Marianne. They were married for over 4 decades and he had his hand gently placed on her arm in the photo as if he were lightly caressing her with his fingers. It was obvious in the photo how much he loved her. She passed away almost 10 months ago and the pain Mike went through after her passing was immeasurable. We have shared many stories while together of our previous lives with our spouses (both very different), which can be very comforting.

We never knew anything about each other previous to meeting online and were an unlikely pair with 5 hours and a border between us. He lives a stone’s throw from the city and I’m in the country. He is a sailor and I was a power boat girl in my younger days. He is very kind and considerate- one of the things I admire most.

I’ve learned that his wife was the same height as I am with similar hair color. I have learned now from Mike that when his best friend Lori met me, there was an immediate first impression of me that reminded her of Marianne’s friendly and outgoing personality. She actually made the statement that she felt Marianne had sent me to Mike because he’s the kind of guy that needs a woman in his life and he wasn’t doing so good finding one on his own! Some might say that he sucked at being alone and the previous dates he had been on were like “dating for fourteen year olds.” So we have a few standing jokes now about a few of his choices- one being that he took out a few “zoo tramps.” Also, two of them in particular felt very uncomfortable walking into his house (which had been shared with Marianne for 35 years) and couldn’t get out fast enough! For the record, I never felt that way. In fact, it felt welcoming and I was comfortable with Marianne’s ashes being on a table (until he gets her home to the Netherlands).

Here’s where it gets weird- really weird, but beautiful at the same time.

We were supposed to depart for Nova Scotia on a Friday morning when I realized I shmucked up with getting one of my prescription drugs filled early and I would be running out of pills during our trip. I couldn’t use the automated system because it was too soon for the refill, so we were going to be leaving much later than we wanted. So guess what we did? We decided to postpone for one day and leave early the following morning. No problem since we had no reservations.

I took some salmon out of the freezer and we had a wonderful day and planned a nice dinner that evening.

Mike cooked with my help, and while we were eating, he got a little emotional talking about the last time he had been to some of the same places with Marianne that we were planning to see.

All of the sudden, I felt a rush of warmth come over me and my body was filled with emotions and I couldn’t understand it. I looked at Mike and it felt like I loved him my entire life. I began to cry and I spoke to him compassionately. He could sense something was very different with me.

I reached out and hugged him long and tight and I have never felt anything like this EVER! I broke away from his embrace and words just flew out of my mouth!

“This isn’t me hugging you! It’s not my words! I believe Marianne is speaking through me! My God! Your wife is saying goodbye to you! This is her hugging you goodbye! She wants to tell you to go on this trip and not feel guilty anymore about having fun! Live your life and know that she is okay and will always love you. She can move on now knowing that you are okay!

My God, the three of us stood there and two of us cried our eyes out! One of us moved on in spirit. I have no doubt that Marianne loved Mike so much that she used my physical existence to say goodbye to the love of her life- her husband of 44 years. It was so surreal that you really had to be there to understand it and to see the love between them. It was clear she was nudging him to get moving forward as he had been struggling so hard to do and felt guilty whenever he tried. There were times that he had cried most of his days away.

For anyone that thinks I’ve lost my mind, trust me when I say, I thought hard about ever telling anyone what happened that night. It’s nuts! But it’s all true. Believe it or not, too many things flowed easily from my mouth and emotions that I had no control of flowed from my heart.

We were not supposed to leave that day. We were supposed to have that dinner and that time together so they could say goodbye. Mike still speaks to his wife in private moments every day. He swears there have been many signs that she is still here with him. I felt her presence in their home. I never felt intimidated by it or uncomfortable. It was actually quite the opposite. Mike handed me a hat that she had knitted and I felt a warmth run through me, almost as if we had just met each other and she approved of me. There are several people that feel strongly that not only would she approve, but perhaps she had something to do with us meeting each other.

We have since read that if you invite the spirit of someone who’s passed into your existence, they are able to enter your world. If there is any truth in this, I invited Marianne into my world when I was in her home. I literally asked her at one point what she would want me to do to help Mike out, as it was clear looking around their home that he needed help. It was dusty and the kitchen was in disarray. Generally unkept, as in NO woman helping to care for the place in quite some time. I asked out loud when I was alone upstairs, “My God Marianne, what should I do? What can I do to help him? Tell me what I should do.”

Well, ask and you shall receive. I got way more than I bargained for, but I am not going to question it any more. It happened and my readers know I tell the truth- always. I am now connected in a strange, yet beautiful way to Mike and Marianne. He has taken me to many of the beautiful places that they have both seen and he feels some peace in sharing it with me. He is experiencing some happiness now in moving forward with his life regardless of what that even means yet. He still misses her terribly, but feels better knowing she wants him to be happy and move forward after being stuck since her death. This, I believe, may have helped her spirit to move on.

My next blog will be about this once in a lifetime trip we have traveled together laughing, some crying, but most definitely moving forward for both of us in many wonderful ways. I have traveled all over the US (48 states) and now in the maritime winds of the Eastern Atlantic coastlines at a fabulous 80 degrees! Mike and I have bonded and share a wonderful friendship. We are both stronger and happier than the day we first met and are grateful that we both took the chance one day to cross our borders to meet for the first time. The border can present geography issues, but a friendship knows no border.

My Grandmother used to always say, “When you get to be my age you’ll be able to count your true friends on one hand.” This becomes more true every day that you live your lives. We are both more fortunate today than we were on June 1st because we have added a permanent friend on that hand. It doesn’t matter where it goes from here, a true friendship is priceless and the foundation for anything else to happen between two people.

AS for the spiritual people who may have read this and question a loved one’s spirit reaching out to you? I will no longer question what happened to me and I suggest you do the same. Let your heart feel what it feels and keep it to yourself or share it- whatever feels right for you. I feel better sharing it because I write about the truth. Sarcastically speaking; I don’t care what anyone else thinks, Mike and I know the truth. There are just way too many things that I knew that he never shared with me (like what Marianne thought about one of the Yacht clubs versus another and what her favorite Cows ice cream flavor was!)

The rest is all just small potatoes…

P.s. The very first message that Mike sent me on the website is gone. Neither one of us can find it. It was the message that made me chuckle out loud about him referring to feeling a bit like Pinocchio. He responded to a post I made about looking for a man with a full head of hair but not a face full of hair and lives in the US. Living in Canada, and hair thinning, he was partially wrong in his response, but was compelled to reach out.

Message DOES NOT EXIST, but yet he acknowledges saying it and I definitely saw it.

Does make one wonder…