Some Things Cannot be Explained

such as a beautiful picture in your mind, or a funny experience. You know what I’m talking about. The kind of experience you tell people “you had to be there.”

Well I would love to try to explain something that is truly unimaginable.

Ninety days ago, I met a wonderful man on a website for people 60 years and over. He is a widower and everyone who knows me knows that I’m a widow. (I hate that word, but that’s what it is.) We texted a lot and began talking and Facetiming. After spending approximately 18 days (or 18 dates) together, I agreed to accompany Mike to Nova Scotia, Cape Breton and PEI (Prince Edward Island). I am sitting on the Island as I write and Mike is conducting a water conservation training class via computer.

Mike drove to my house in Ohio a week ago from Canada (Yes, he is a Canadian- in case you haven’t been following.) I was attracted to him because of the profile picture of him and his wife Marianne. They were married for over 4 decades and he had his hand gently placed on her arm in the photo as if he were lightly caressing her with his fingers. It was obvious in the photo how much he loved her. She passed away almost 10 months ago and the pain Mike went through after her passing was immeasurable. We have shared many stories while together of our previous lives with our spouses (both very different), which can be very comforting.

We never knew anything about each other previous to meeting online and were an unlikely pair with 5 hours and a border between us. He lives a stone’s throw from the city and I’m in the country. He is a sailor and I was a power boat girl in my younger days. He is very kind and considerate- one of the things I admire most.

I’ve learned that his wife was the same height as I am with similar hair color. I have learned now from Mike that when his best friend Lori met me, there was an immediate first impression of me that reminded her of Marianne’s friendly and outgoing personality. She actually made the statement that she felt Marianne had sent me to Mike because he’s the kind of guy that needs a woman in his life and he wasn’t doing so good finding one on his own! Some might say that he sucked at being alone and the previous dates he had been on were like “dating for fourteen year olds.” So we have a few standing jokes now about a few of his choices- one being that he took out a few “zoo tramps.” Also, two of them in particular felt very uncomfortable walking into his house (which had been shared with Marianne for 35 years) and couldn’t get out fast enough! For the record, I never felt that way. In fact, it felt welcoming and I was comfortable with Marianne’s ashes being on a table (until he gets her home to the Netherlands).

Here’s where it gets weird- really weird, but beautiful at the same time.

We were supposed to depart for Nova Scotia on a Friday morning when I realized I shmucked up with getting one of my prescription drugs filled early and I would be running out of pills during our trip. I couldn’t use the automated system because it was too soon for the refill, so we were going to be leaving much later than we wanted. So guess what we did? We decided to postpone for one day and leave early the following morning. No problem since we had no reservations.

I took some salmon out of the freezer and we had a wonderful day and planned a nice dinner that evening.

Mike cooked with my help, and while we were eating, he got a little emotional talking about the last time he had been to some of the same places with Marianne that we were planning to see.

All of the sudden, I felt a rush of warmth come over me and my body was filled with emotions and I couldn’t understand it. I looked at Mike and it felt like I loved him my entire life. I began to cry and I spoke to him compassionately. He could sense something was very different with me.

I reached out and hugged him long and tight and I have never felt anything like this EVER! I broke away from his embrace and words just flew out of my mouth!

“This isn’t me hugging you! It’s not my words! I believe Marianne is speaking through me! My God! Your wife is saying goodbye to you! This is her hugging you goodbye! She wants to tell you to go on this trip and not feel guilty anymore about having fun! Live your life and know that she is okay and will always love you. She can move on now knowing that you are okay!

My God, the three of us stood there and two of us cried our eyes out! One of us moved on in spirit. I have no doubt that Marianne loved Mike so much that she used my physical existence to say goodbye to the love of her life- her husband of 44 years. It was so surreal that you really had to be there to understand it and to see the love between them. It was clear she was nudging him to get moving forward as he had been struggling so hard to do and felt guilty whenever he tried. There were times that he had cried most of his days away.

For anyone that thinks I’ve lost my mind, trust me when I say, I thought hard about ever telling anyone what happened that night. It’s nuts! But it’s all true. Believe it or not, too many things flowed easily from my mouth and emotions that I had no control of flowed from my heart.

We were not supposed to leave that day. We were supposed to have that dinner and that time together so they could say goodbye. Mike still speaks to his wife in private moments every day. He swears there have been many signs that she is still here with him. I felt her presence in their home. I never felt intimidated by it or uncomfortable. It was actually quite the opposite. Mike handed me a hat that she had knitted and I felt a warmth run through me, almost as if we had just met each other and she approved of me. There are several people that feel strongly that not only would she approve, but perhaps she had something to do with us meeting each other.

We have since read that if you invite the spirit of someone who’s passed into your existence, they are able to enter your world. If there is any truth in this, I invited Marianne into my world when I was in her home. I literally asked her at one point what she would want me to do to help Mike out, as it was clear looking around their home that he needed help. It was dusty and the kitchen was in disarray. Generally unkept, as in NO woman helping to care for the place in quite some time. I asked out loud when I was alone upstairs, “My God Marianne, what should I do? What can I do to help him? Tell me what I should do.”

Well, ask and you shall receive. I got way more than I bargained for, but I am not going to question it any more. It happened and my readers know I tell the truth- always. I am now connected in a strange, yet beautiful way to Mike and Marianne. He has taken me to many of the beautiful places that they have both seen and he feels some peace in sharing it with me. He is experiencing some happiness now in moving forward with his life regardless of what that even means yet. He still misses her terribly, but feels better knowing she wants him to be happy and move forward after being stuck since her death. This, I believe, may have helped her spirit to move on.

My next blog will be about this once in a lifetime trip we have traveled together laughing, some crying, but most definitely moving forward for both of us in many wonderful ways. I have traveled all over the US (48 states) and now in the maritime winds of the Eastern Atlantic coastlines at a fabulous 80 degrees! Mike and I have bonded and share a wonderful friendship. We are both stronger and happier than the day we first met and are grateful that we both took the chance one day to cross our borders to meet for the first time. The border can present geography issues, but a friendship knows no border.

My Grandmother used to always say, “When you get to be my age you’ll be able to count your true friends on one hand.” This becomes more true every day that you live your lives. We are both more fortunate today than we were on June 1st because we have added a permanent friend on that hand. It doesn’t matter where it goes from here, a true friendship is priceless and the foundation for anything else to happen between two people.

AS for the spiritual people who may have read this and question a loved one’s spirit reaching out to you? I will no longer question what happened to me and I suggest you do the same. Let your heart feel what it feels and keep it to yourself or share it- whatever feels right for you. I feel better sharing it because I write about the truth. Sarcastically speaking; I don’t care what anyone else thinks, Mike and I know the truth. There are just way too many things that I knew that he never shared with me (like what Marianne thought about one of the Yacht clubs versus another and what her favorite Cows ice cream flavor was!)

The rest is all just small potatoes…

P.s. The very first message that Mike sent me on the website is gone. Neither one of us can find it. It was the message that made me chuckle out loud about him referring to feeling a bit like Pinocchio. He responded to a post I made about looking for a man with a full head of hair but not a face full of hair and lives in the US. Living in Canada, and hair thinning, he was partially wrong in his response, but was compelled to reach out.

Message DOES NOT EXIST, but yet he acknowledges saying it and I definitely saw it.

Does make one wonder…