refers to the tendency to remember the most intense or positive experience at the end of a series of events most vividly, creating the overall impression where the last moment impacts our memory most significantly over all other experiences.

Let’s face it. At age 65, most of our life and experiences are in the rearview mirror. Good or bad, they are behind us and you find yourself wondering what the remainder of your life will be like.

After the death of a spouse and you suddenly find yourself living the unchosen single life, you can’t help but think if you’ve been sentenced to a life of loneliness, sharing your bed with extra pillows or stuffed animals that hit the floor while you toss and turn all night.

You question if you will ever be able to go out and have dinner with a partner across the table sharing conversation and a few laughs ever again. Or will you ever enjoy the company of sharing drinks with another couple?

Moving back home was a life saver for me because my family was all I had. I enjoyed the invitations to go out and have nice dinners and enjoyed the laughter over funny stories and silly sh!t- laughter I desperately needed. I enjoyed reconnecting with childhood friends and someone looking in on me to make sure I was doing ok. These actions from loved ones kept me going. Priceless when a nephew makes time to check on you, or a sister door dashes some homemade soup or a friend checks your car over to save you a bit of money and keep you safe on the road.

Even with all of this, I sat at home alone night after night wondering if this is it-all I will have for the rest of my life. A challenging relationship with my son and the lack of a relationship with my granddaughters made it even more daunting at times.

But I was doing ok. I have a lovely condo and I can afford to survive, and that is better than most who were totally unprepared for the death of a spouse.

Then in an instant, I decided to do the unthinkable. I went on a dating site thinking perhaps I might be one of the lucky ones. Maybe I would find a widower looking for the same companionship we all desire as we age. Someone to share laughter, travels, dinners and even try new things with.

That didn’t last even 3 days.

I then went on a website for 60 and over folks looking for someone to chat with, date or just annoy. Most of them were totally annoying! But then, I found Michael. A widower who was looking for someone to build a new life with after most of his entire life was spent with his lovely wife of 44 years. How on God’s green earth do you find someone that can fill the void of a lifetime?

You take chances. You text. You call and have conversations. You plan to meet for dinner in a public place. And usually that is where it ends. Based on his own experience and stories from so many others, the first or second date is where it comes to a screeching halt.

When you are in your 60’s, you are very set in your ways and no one is going to change you. You also have grown children that can add to the drama. For some reason, adult children seem to know better than you what it is you truly need.

We were indeed two very lucky people. We both love to laugh, we enjoy dining together (at home or out- doesn’t matter), he has introduced me to live theater (and I LOVED it!), traveled to Nova Scotia, PEI and plan to do more. We can have fun doing nothing and everything!

It has been almost nine months since our first chat and we have fallen completely head over heels for each other and accept the good and the bad.

Michael asked me to marry him at Christmas time in the most romantic and traditional way (down on one knee), but we chose not to share it with anyone until after he put a ring on my finger. I chose to inform my immediate family that a ring of commitment was in the works so that they were not caught off guard. Michael proposed a second time as he placed the ring on my finger on February 1st. We went to his Yacht Club for dinner and shared it with the folks there and it was very exciting to see people so happy for Mike after all he has been thru.

I am on cloud nine these days because after the tragic loss of my oldest granddaughter before Christmas, my son and I have grown to be much closer and have reignited our relationship- which truly makes me happy after such a loss. It is a slow go with my youngest granddaughter, but we are also working on it, which is very good!

I am sitting here in disbelief that all this has happened to me, yet so much happiness is in my life. With every loss the birth of a new relationship has resulted. It is what I call proof of the circle of life.

I am thankful for everything good that has happened and that I never gave up on life, as so many people often do. People tend to isolate themselves during deep depression, and not everyone finds themselves capable of finding the laughter again, but Mike and I have accomplished that. Having each other to lean on when sad memories arise gives us both strength and healing.

We don’t know the details of what is to come. A wedding? What house we’ll live in? Canada vs USA? What we do know is how lucky we truly are for another go at this little thing we call love. We both craved to be loved again and to become a “We” instead of “Me”. We have both been granted that wish.

So if you see us out and about and ask us what we will be doing, chances are we won’t know for sure about anything yet. But the one thing we are sure of is how happy we make each other and that is usually written all over our faces! Just ask anyone that sees us out together and all the answers are there. If anyone had asked me a year ago if I would ever be engaged I would have laughed all the way home thinking not a chance!!

I never gave up and never lost hope my entire life even when everything and everyone seemed against me, and here I am telling you this true story. Perhaps the best has been saved for last?

Just do YOU…and see where the next adventure takes you….