exactly where I am supposed to be. Is it by accident? Or was I supposed to be here? How many of you have asked the same question? Accident or by design?

I was raised to believe that everything in life happens for a reason even when we can’t figure out the reason. When bad things happened like a divorce, recession or loss of a loved one; I was taught that God doesn’t make these bad things happen- but rather he is there to help you get through it when it does. No matter the reason or what you believe, every decision we make along our journey of life brings us to the place we are right here and now.

The death of two different spouses in two different countries and at different times led me and my fiancé, Mike, exactly to this moment in our lives and it is mind boggling to us at times. The things we have both been through and the likelihood of meeting on a generic Facebook site for 60 and over folks still strikes me as nearly impossible.

I still remember the day we were planning on meeting for lunch. I had a 3 hour drive to a place in New York and he had a border to cross with a two hour drive. I was in the shower arguing with myself that perhaps I’ve completely lost my mind and almost chickened out. After every negative thought I could come up with, I finally said out loud like a whacko doodle, “Oh come on! Stop thinking of every bad thing that could happen Lorraine!” I finally started thinking that maybe- just maybe something positive could come out of it. If nothing else, it was a beautiful sunny day for a drive and I had a hotel room for the evening so I could have a couple glasses of wine at the end of the day without the worry of driving 3 hours home. I started thinking of it as an adventure instead of my final hours of life!

Mike was also a little less than enthused to make the two hour trip to New York. He had already met several local ladies and suffered through huge disappointments. His drive was painful in heavy traffic and considered turning around more than once, but finally texted me to explain he would be later than expected. He had already pictured himself sitting through another simplistic, repetitive and unfulfilling conversation. He figured the drive home would be just another complete failure with a costly price tag attached. As it turns out (now that I know) I was the last straw. He was considering sailing off into the wide blue yonder never to return.

Here we are one year later. Where did the time go and how in the world did we get here? So many conversations, so much laughter and so many plans have been discussed.

We sat on Mike’s sailboat two days ago during sunset sipping prosecco and wondering how in the world did we make it to this point. I was sitting where his late spouse once sat and I never take that lightly. I have learned that Marianne was a very special person and his one and only love. They were young and fell hard for one another. 44 years later, Mike was devastated and alone.

Two years ago, I was packing an entire household by myself in Florida and planning my move back to Ohio so I could be close to my family. Overwhelmed, exhausted and broken. I wasn’t sure where I was going to live but was hopeful to find a place to buy or rent.

It all seems like a dream now. What a journey we have both been on and continue to be. We now sit and talk about growing old together instead of being alone. We look forward to holidays, travel, sailing and all the silliness we share like two teenagers! We have respect for each other’s tragedies and loves. We encourage each other when the going is tough. We hold hands and giggle over anything and nothing.

Most of all, we treasure every moment we have. We know the true meaning of the statement “tomorrow isn’t promised” and live each day fully. I often say to Mike, “If I died tomorrow, know that I loved spending today with you.”

If today was your last day- did you spend it doing something you enjoyed? If you knew it was going to be your last day- did you do something worthy of your last day of life? If you think that is a bit melodramatic, you don’t understand and I can’t explain it. You will truly understand when you watch someone die and learn just how precious every second is.

Everything that has led us to this moment is not fully understood, but so appreciated! We have been given the chance to replace sadness with happiness. We concentrate on the good in life instead of the bad. We respect our pasts but focus on the future. We realize that you can find love again after significant loss.

We don’t often understand how all the unforeseen circumstances in our lives lead us to the place we are now and how every choice we make during these times lead us to where we are in life, but here we are. Right here, right now. That is what we have. Make the best of what you have and don’t be afraid. Face each new day with laughter and have the ice cream or the donut, as I often say.