Hello readers! Hope everyone is well and living life to their fullest.

It has been a year since I last wrote and I make no apologies, as I have been living in the moment with my best friend and the love of my life- Michael.

We recently celebrated two years since the day we met face-to-face in Hamburg, NY. I vividly remember sharing with you all how we both almost chickened out of making that trip. Two widowed 60 something year olds looking for a compatible relationship with five hours and a border between us! I imagined everything that could go wrong would go wrong during my shower and finally resorted to scolding myself out loud in the mirror. I chalked it up to the temporary insanity of widowhood but managed to get myself out the door.

I wasn’t sure about the journey back then, but oh what a journey it has been! Let me share the highlight reel with you first on what I have learned about widows dating.

If you recall, I specifically was interested in meeting Mike because I figured it would be healing for both of us to be able to share conversations about our late spouses and sometimes the tears. We have a better understanding of what we have both been through and can appreciate the stories. Speaking for myself, it was exactly that and much more.

I have learned that Mike’s late wife will remain in his heart forever, but his heart is big enough for both of us. I am never offended by the fact that he wants to share all his favorite places or activities with me that were once shared by her. I am actually honored that he chose to share such wonderful places and experiences with me.

If you are ever in these same shoes, consider it a privilege that someone wants to share the best parts of their past with you. You are NOT a replacement- you are an addition. There is a huge difference.

The second thing I have learned is that you both have to make a conscious effort never to make comparisons with your late spouses. It is disrespectful (especially if it is something you didn’t like) and definitely uncomfortable. We are really good when it comes to this 99.9 percent of the time, but accidents do happen. Apologize and move on.

Next, I have learned that you will both get to know each other’s late spouses extremely well. That might sound uncomfortable to you, but trust me- it’s not. When you love someone unconditionally, why wouldn’t you want to know about the last person they spent almost every waking moment with? Whether it’s curiosity or just getting to know more about each other, it’s just natural. I have just as much respect for her as I have for Mike at this point and that’s OK.

I will point out one more thing and then move on. It is OK to make jokes or laugh about things once you have grown very comfortable with each other, provided it’s always light hearted and done respectfully. Serious subjects are always treated as such with grief and anything that could come across as disrespect is simply off limits.

So let’s get into the juicy stuff! Mike and I are crazy about each other! We act like two kids at times laughing about things no one else would understand. We walk holding hands like teenagers on their first date. We appreciate the art of conversation sometimes for hours and have popcorn movie nights at home with a good prosecco. Honestly? I never know what silliness might be waiting for me when I walk out of the bathroom door!

I will admit it’s not always perfect at this age. There was the morning I fell down his stairs and nearly broke my ass, but several weeks of physical therapy got my shoulder working good again. There was also the near death flu episode Mike had last Christmas one day before a huge party we planned for months. The party was canceled, but Mike lived to see another Christmas. I also had a meet-n-greet with Covid on our first New Year’s Eve together which resulted in a trip to the hospital with Tachycardia and long covid in my lungs. But hey, we all know what they say. “What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. ” We have both been through worse and still not dead yet.

We hate that we have a border between us but we can’t do anything about that. We both drive back and forth as often as our schedules permit. We are engaged but haven’t figured out the specifics of marriage yet, nor the dynamics of Healthcare, retirement income, residency/, proximity to family, citizenship, etc.

We don’t need a piece of paper at our age anyways but we will plan a celebration at some point because why not? Why not celebrate that we found each other and fell in love? After what felt like an ending for both of us, to result in a new beginning is worth celebrating.

Mike has given me a new life, as I have given to him. We enjoy sharing a simple cup of coffee in the morning as much as a wonderful dinner in the evening. We have made many short trips exploring and traveled memorable long trips. I have been to live shows and the theater more in two years than probably my entire life! He introduced me to a new world of sailing and I’ve met several of his reenactment friends. The list of new adventures grows every time I cross the border. Canada is a wonderful country and has so much more beauty for us to explore together. We also enjoy family time here in the US, especially over the holidays.

We have both grown so much in two years navigating uncharted territory every step of the way. We have found humor in the smallest things and really don’t fret much over the bigger things. We know the true meaning of the words “tomorrow isn’t promised” and make the best of every day we share together.

Happy two years to us and may our journey continue…